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Substance Abuse
Anyone in my shoes?
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 509268" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Welcome 2confused. I have been there. My daughter is now 17. Had great potential, gifted in school, good at volleyball, won all the science fairs from 4th grade up etc. Flip switched the end of 7th grade. So we started earlier. She is a pot user. Luckly we have not had alcohol or other drug issues. There is an arrogance about pot users though. They think they are a cut above the other "druggies".</p><p></p><p>All the things he is saying to you are manipulation. He doesn't believe for a second what he is saying. Do not let guilt into your life. It kept us in emotional turmoil as we tried to figure out what we had done wrong-useless emotion in the case of dealing with addicts. He wants to use. You are in the way. I also had guilt about coming down heavy and placing her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and then reporting to police ( I still wonder about these decisions as she is not fully compliant or sober today-though she is functioning). </p><p></p><p>You are lucky your state allows an ungovernable charge. OUrs does not. We had to get to the point after her first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) of 18 months, of her pushing us and leaving marks to even get before a judge. She had been truent from school over 20 days. I can't say that much helped once they placed her in temp. jjc custody and into a state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She did get the message that we were not going to just let her do what she was doing-running for days, smoking pot, sexually acting out, lieing and even stealing money to get train tickets and I think buy pot. She never got more than a few bucks at a time because we keep things locked up. She did once forge a check and that prompted the beginning of the lock down.</p><p></p><p>Stay the course. It is better that you let him suffer the consequences now rather than when he is older. There is a chance he will learn from this. This is tough when you realize you have no control. They will do what ever they want to get the drugs they want. I have recently found peace at Families Anon. which is a twelve step program designed for families of addicts or loved ones with emotional problems. It has helped me to see that we did all we could, to do better at not enabling, and to know I am not alone. I also find support at this board. Keep coming back and updating us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 509268, member: 11001"] Welcome 2confused. I have been there. My daughter is now 17. Had great potential, gifted in school, good at volleyball, won all the science fairs from 4th grade up etc. Flip switched the end of 7th grade. So we started earlier. She is a pot user. Luckly we have not had alcohol or other drug issues. There is an arrogance about pot users though. They think they are a cut above the other "druggies". All the things he is saying to you are manipulation. He doesn't believe for a second what he is saying. Do not let guilt into your life. It kept us in emotional turmoil as we tried to figure out what we had done wrong-useless emotion in the case of dealing with addicts. He wants to use. You are in the way. I also had guilt about coming down heavy and placing her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and then reporting to police ( I still wonder about these decisions as she is not fully compliant or sober today-though she is functioning). You are lucky your state allows an ungovernable charge. OUrs does not. We had to get to the point after her first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) of 18 months, of her pushing us and leaving marks to even get before a judge. She had been truent from school over 20 days. I can't say that much helped once they placed her in temp. jjc custody and into a state run Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She did get the message that we were not going to just let her do what she was doing-running for days, smoking pot, sexually acting out, lieing and even stealing money to get train tickets and I think buy pot. She never got more than a few bucks at a time because we keep things locked up. She did once forge a check and that prompted the beginning of the lock down. Stay the course. It is better that you let him suffer the consequences now rather than when he is older. There is a chance he will learn from this. This is tough when you realize you have no control. They will do what ever they want to get the drugs they want. I have recently found peace at Families Anon. which is a twelve step program designed for families of addicts or loved ones with emotional problems. It has helped me to see that we did all we could, to do better at not enabling, and to know I am not alone. I also find support at this board. Keep coming back and updating us. [/QUOTE]
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