Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Anyone think this is odd?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 297981" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Janet, it's just how they are. Even within a family you can have different attitudes on this. Have you told Pat how you feel about her being the real grandma to your kids? Even after all these years she may feel awkward about accepting them as her grandkids, for fear of encoraching on your mother's memory. </p><p></p><p>As for the "his" and "hers" - I think my eldest sister's new husband is a bit like this. He and my sister have only been married about six years (if that). He is so good for her, always jolly, always happy. She needed that after years of emotional abuse with her first husband. He loves her kids, spends a lot of time with them (especially her now very dysfunctional oldest son) but they still talk about his grandchildren vs her grandchildren, almost like it's a competition between them, keeping score in a lighthearted way. "I've got five - how many have you got?"</p><p></p><p>On the other side of the coin - my sister's oldest son (the one now dysfunctional - he has major PTSD, he never leaves home because of it) was a very young father. At the time he and his then girlfriend had their first baby, bio-dad got married (to one of the women he left my sister for). My exBIL's new wife went around town telling everyone about her new grandson (courtesy of her new husband). My nephew went to his dad and said, "Tell her to stop saying that - she may be married to you and may be your wife, but she is NEVER going to be my son's grandmother. I am an adult so she is not even my stepmother. I have one mother who did a fine job with me, despite all the damage you inflicted on us all. And that mother of mine is my son's grandmother. Not your new wife."</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure, but I don't even think he ever visited his father or communicated with him after that. Very little love lost there, although bio-dad would have loved to have a better relationsship with him, he idolised his oldest son. perhaps that was part of the problem - he put all his emotional eggs into that basket and did even more damage to his other sons by his neglect and abuse. Always comparing them to his favourite, the eldest. And then at the marriage split, eldest son turned on him and would have nothing more to do with him. (come to think of it, bio-dad was not at son's wedding - my nephew finally married the mother of his little boy and they've gone on to have a football team of boys and finally one precious daughter).</p><p></p><p>It's funny how it works. Now my nephew has a closer relationship to his stepfather than he ever had with his father. My nephew used to claim that his grandfather (my father) was a better father to him.</p><p></p><p>So it really depends on families, and individual's past experience in their own famiies.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 297981, member: 1991"] Janet, it's just how they are. Even within a family you can have different attitudes on this. Have you told Pat how you feel about her being the real grandma to your kids? Even after all these years she may feel awkward about accepting them as her grandkids, for fear of encoraching on your mother's memory. As for the "his" and "hers" - I think my eldest sister's new husband is a bit like this. He and my sister have only been married about six years (if that). He is so good for her, always jolly, always happy. She needed that after years of emotional abuse with her first husband. He loves her kids, spends a lot of time with them (especially her now very dysfunctional oldest son) but they still talk about his grandchildren vs her grandchildren, almost like it's a competition between them, keeping score in a lighthearted way. "I've got five - how many have you got?" On the other side of the coin - my sister's oldest son (the one now dysfunctional - he has major PTSD, he never leaves home because of it) was a very young father. At the time he and his then girlfriend had their first baby, bio-dad got married (to one of the women he left my sister for). My exBIL's new wife went around town telling everyone about her new grandson (courtesy of her new husband). My nephew went to his dad and said, "Tell her to stop saying that - she may be married to you and may be your wife, but she is NEVER going to be my son's grandmother. I am an adult so she is not even my stepmother. I have one mother who did a fine job with me, despite all the damage you inflicted on us all. And that mother of mine is my son's grandmother. Not your new wife." I'm not sure, but I don't even think he ever visited his father or communicated with him after that. Very little love lost there, although bio-dad would have loved to have a better relationsship with him, he idolised his oldest son. perhaps that was part of the problem - he put all his emotional eggs into that basket and did even more damage to his other sons by his neglect and abuse. Always comparing them to his favourite, the eldest. And then at the marriage split, eldest son turned on him and would have nothing more to do with him. (come to think of it, bio-dad was not at son's wedding - my nephew finally married the mother of his little boy and they've gone on to have a football team of boys and finally one precious daughter). It's funny how it works. Now my nephew has a closer relationship to his stepfather than he ever had with his father. My nephew used to claim that his grandfather (my father) was a better father to him. So it really depends on families, and individual's past experience in their own famiies. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
Anyone think this is odd?
Top