Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Apparently it's update time
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 709411" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I am excited. I have turned a corner, it seems. I am seeing myself and my own life as having some value apart from my son. Duh. It is crazy to reflect upon how eclipsed I was by the death of my mother/and the issues with my son. I am seeing it now (vis a vis my son) as a choice that I control.</p><p></p><p>So much of that way of thinking came about this week, partly in response to your postings about your son and how you are holding the situation in your own thinking. remember all the questions I had a few days ago? That was when I was grappling with the whole effect of all of this on me. I could no longer avoid/evade the reality that I was sick. That I was making myself sick. And that that was WRONG. It was something I could change. That I should not allow anybody or anything to make me sick.</p><p></p><p>So this conversation is coming from that "clearing" and I am holding your plot of land and cabin in that space. In me. That I deserve "a clearing and space" for me. For my happiness and peace of mind. That somehow along the way, I lost that sense that I deserve this. That I count independent of how effective a parent I am. That I am as much (or more) a parent to myself. How can it be otherwise? That I neglect or compromise my relationship to myself, to serve the welfare of another human being?</p><p></p><p>I came to see it as hypocrisy. That I was a hypocrite. You helped me see this, Lil. I guess it is because I identify with you. I don't know.</p><p>What changed your decision here? How did it morph from the idea that you would live there (were you thinking about full-time or for weekends?) to the idea of an occasional weekend? What shifted?</p><p></p><p>Do you think once that it is comfortable you will begin to visit more? I am seeing those comfy chairs out there overlooking the forest. And the solitude and quiet. I smell the smell I think. (Because I am out west. I have never been where you are. I know the trees are different, thus the smell. We have lots of pines and oaks here. I am remembering you do too, I think. Is this what they call "the piney woods?"</p><p></p><p>The piney woods interested me very much when I was in graduate school because of how they culturally and economically differed from the rest of the south where there were large land holdings.</p><p></p><p>I will google now and see if I can visualize what it looks like where you are. Have you met any neighbors? What are they like? Are there full-timers or other 2nd home types?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 709411, member: 18958"] I am excited. I have turned a corner, it seems. I am seeing myself and my own life as having some value apart from my son. Duh. It is crazy to reflect upon how eclipsed I was by the death of my mother/and the issues with my son. I am seeing it now (vis a vis my son) as a choice that I control. So much of that way of thinking came about this week, partly in response to your postings about your son and how you are holding the situation in your own thinking. remember all the questions I had a few days ago? That was when I was grappling with the whole effect of all of this on me. I could no longer avoid/evade the reality that I was sick. That I was making myself sick. And that that was WRONG. It was something I could change. That I should not allow anybody or anything to make me sick. So this conversation is coming from that "clearing" and I am holding your plot of land and cabin in that space. In me. That I deserve "a clearing and space" for me. For my happiness and peace of mind. That somehow along the way, I lost that sense that I deserve this. That I count independent of how effective a parent I am. That I am as much (or more) a parent to myself. How can it be otherwise? That I neglect or compromise my relationship to myself, to serve the welfare of another human being? I came to see it as hypocrisy. That I was a hypocrite. You helped me see this, Lil. I guess it is because I identify with you. I don't know. What changed your decision here? How did it morph from the idea that you would live there (were you thinking about full-time or for weekends?) to the idea of an occasional weekend? What shifted? Do you think once that it is comfortable you will begin to visit more? I am seeing those comfy chairs out there overlooking the forest. And the solitude and quiet. I smell the smell I think. (Because I am out west. I have never been where you are. I know the trees are different, thus the smell. We have lots of pines and oaks here. I am remembering you do too, I think. Is this what they call "the piney woods?" The piney woods interested me very much when I was in graduate school because of how they culturally and economically differed from the rest of the south where there were large land holdings. I will google now and see if I can visualize what it looks like where you are. Have you met any neighbors? What are they like? Are there full-timers or other 2nd home types? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Apparently it's update time
Top