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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 730425" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am coming in on the end of this, but your daughter is VERY dangerous! If you are in the US, I STRONGLY suggest that you contact your local domestic violence shelter for some free counseling. I don't know what is offered in other countries, but I know in the US your situation would qualify. You would get help for free from a domestic violence center. This would include help for the PTSD from the things she has done to you in the past and help to realize that you don't have to put up with her behavior.</p><p></p><p>You are FAR from a bad mother when you speak out about her behavior. If anything, you are being a proactive and wonderful grandmother. You are learning what you need to do to become stronger so that you can be strong enough to keep her child safe from her. </p><p></p><p>Your instincts are right. Your daughter is dangerous. She is likely NOT borderline. The vile and violent things she has done just to you are at least symptomatic of Conduct Disorder if not a clear sign of being a sociopath. She sure seems to use you for what she wants. </p><p></p><p>If nothing else, any and every time she contacts you, tell her that you won't stand for her behavior, that she is rude and ungrateful. Tell her that you won't tolerate her abuse. If you can, go to the police and tell them what she has done to you, and how she has damaged your home. Ask what you must do to get a restraining order to keep her from coming to your home. </p><p></p><p>It is time to start protecting yourself. YOU MATTER. It really is OK to take steps to protect yourself, even if you take them before the next crisis happens. Just imagine what she will be like postpartum. What if her husband takes the baby and tells her to get out? It would be good to have a restraining order in place before she even thinks of trying to come over. Her problems are NOT yours, and it IS okay to let her figure out how to solve her own problems. It is actually very healthy for both of you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 730425, member: 1233"] I am coming in on the end of this, but your daughter is VERY dangerous! If you are in the US, I STRONGLY suggest that you contact your local domestic violence shelter for some free counseling. I don't know what is offered in other countries, but I know in the US your situation would qualify. You would get help for free from a domestic violence center. This would include help for the PTSD from the things she has done to you in the past and help to realize that you don't have to put up with her behavior. You are FAR from a bad mother when you speak out about her behavior. If anything, you are being a proactive and wonderful grandmother. You are learning what you need to do to become stronger so that you can be strong enough to keep her child safe from her. Your instincts are right. Your daughter is dangerous. She is likely NOT borderline. The vile and violent things she has done just to you are at least symptomatic of Conduct Disorder if not a clear sign of being a sociopath. She sure seems to use you for what she wants. If nothing else, any and every time she contacts you, tell her that you won't stand for her behavior, that she is rude and ungrateful. Tell her that you won't tolerate her abuse. If you can, go to the police and tell them what she has done to you, and how she has damaged your home. Ask what you must do to get a restraining order to keep her from coming to your home. It is time to start protecting yourself. YOU MATTER. It really is OK to take steps to protect yourself, even if you take them before the next crisis happens. Just imagine what she will be like postpartum. What if her husband takes the baby and tells her to get out? It would be good to have a restraining order in place before she even thinks of trying to come over. Her problems are NOT yours, and it IS okay to let her figure out how to solve her own problems. It is actually very healthy for both of you. [/QUOTE]
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