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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 739848" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Wow your daughter sounds extremely difficult and I really feel for you. Of course you are worried about your future grandbaby. The thing is you cant do anything for him/her unless you are in good shape yourself so your first priority is to take care of yourself in this situation. So this means having very clear and firm boundaries. Be clearwith yourself what you will and wont do for your daughter. You dont need to spell it out for her but I think you need to think about situations ahead of time so when they come up you are prepared. For example if things go south with her husband....you know she will call. doesn’t sound like her living with you is a good option at all. You already know you are willing to watch the baby somtimes but not as a regular childcare person etc.</p><p></p><p>I suspect once the baby comes your daughter will be in touch because she will want your help. That might be a good thing.... but again you will need to watch because she is sure to try to manipulate and take advantage of you. I think you will end up having a relationship with your grandbaby because we all know raising children is a lot of work and your daughter is going to want help....so the thing is to make sure it is on your terms.</p><p></p><p>It is sad that on this site we all know about adult kids who manipulate and try to take advantage of us..... but we sure understand. Let us know what happens.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 739848, member: 15801"] Wow your daughter sounds extremely difficult and I really feel for you. Of course you are worried about your future grandbaby. The thing is you cant do anything for him/her unless you are in good shape yourself so your first priority is to take care of yourself in this situation. So this means having very clear and firm boundaries. Be clearwith yourself what you will and wont do for your daughter. You dont need to spell it out for her but I think you need to think about situations ahead of time so when they come up you are prepared. For example if things go south with her husband....you know she will call. doesn’t sound like her living with you is a good option at all. You already know you are willing to watch the baby somtimes but not as a regular childcare person etc. I suspect once the baby comes your daughter will be in touch because she will want your help. That might be a good thing.... but again you will need to watch because she is sure to try to manipulate and take advantage of you. I think you will end up having a relationship with your grandbaby because we all know raising children is a lot of work and your daughter is going to want help....so the thing is to make sure it is on your terms. It is sad that on this site we all know about adult kids who manipulate and try to take advantage of us..... but we sure understand. Let us know what happens. TL [/QUOTE]
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