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General Parenting
Approaching Parents about their child. HELP!
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<blockquote data-quote="Galactus" data-source="post: 84391" data-attributes="member: 4170"><p>Originally Posted By: tiredmommy</p><p>I have to agree completely with SRL. by the way, the other child of which you post could very well be one of our children on this board. I'd personally appreciate it if you were to proceed in a much more compassionate and respectful manner. Not one of us here asked to have disordered or difficult children. I, for one, was offended by the following:</p><p></p><p>"I WILL NOT have my child exposed to this type of irreverant behavior.</p><p></p><p>Any ideas on how I should approach the parents? For my child's sake I can end my friendship with them in a blink of an eye. How do I tell them that I don't think our children should play together anymore? "</p><p></p><p>Trust me, if they were to read this, they'd dump your friendship in a blink of an eye.</p><p></p><p>"Crapping in the tub with another child in it is about the most disgusting thing that can be done. The parents know their kid has a problem... Don't insinuate that it is a problem with mine."</p><p></p><p>No one has insinuated that the problem is with your son. But it may be with YOU. If this friendship is too much for you to maintain, I'd suggest dropping it because I doubt these parents are staying up at night worrying about poor little ole you. They are probably worried sick about their son.</p><p></p><p>You are right about this:</p><p></p><p>"Either way, my job is to protect my son from any and all comers. Their issue is not mine to solve. "</p><p></p><p>Just remember, that's also their job in regard to you.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>For one thing, the perception on this board that I am female is indeed incorrect. I am a concerned father.</p><p></p><p>The friendship, believe me I can take it or leave it. "Poor little old me" is fine. They are the ones that continually blow up my phone. The needs of my son vs. my needs for friends? Well, they aren't even in the same galaxy.</p><p></p><p>It would be much better if the parents simply said "KidX" had an accident while they were in the tub. Telling my wife to check my son's underwear to cover for a BM to me is paramount to deceit.</p><p></p><p>All I expect from any parent is FULL disclosure of the truth (when it involves MY child). Anything less than the truth is NOT the truth. My 4 year old knows the difference between the truth and NOT the truth. If my child had an accident, as hard as it would be, I WOULD tell the other parents. To me, it is the right thing to do.</p><p></p><p>If my child breaks something of another's, steals, hits, or has an accident in the same tub of another child, I would have to tell the other child's parents the truth (not some shade of the truth). Embarrassing as it may be, it is only respectful thing to do. As a parent, part of my job being honest with my child and honest with other parents who's child plays with mine. I don't expect them to rehash their personal history (frankly, it is none of my business), but what happens to my child is my business.</p><p></p><p>The things I say in CAPS are not meant to be combative, but certain things do need to be emphasized.</p><p></p><p>I do appreciate all the different responses. It is true that I am a relatively young parent, but having to hear how something really happens from a 4 year old instead of an adult just doesn't seem right.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Galactus, post: 84391, member: 4170"] Originally Posted By: tiredmommy I have to agree completely with SRL. by the way, the other child of which you post could very well be one of our children on this board. I'd personally appreciate it if you were to proceed in a much more compassionate and respectful manner. Not one of us here asked to have disordered or difficult children. I, for one, was offended by the following: "I WILL NOT have my child exposed to this type of irreverant behavior. Any ideas on how I should approach the parents? For my child's sake I can end my friendship with them in a blink of an eye. How do I tell them that I don't think our children should play together anymore? " Trust me, if they were to read this, they'd dump your friendship in a blink of an eye. "Crapping in the tub with another child in it is about the most disgusting thing that can be done. The parents know their kid has a problem... Don't insinuate that it is a problem with mine." No one has insinuated that the problem is with your son. But it may be with YOU. If this friendship is too much for you to maintain, I'd suggest dropping it because I doubt these parents are staying up at night worrying about poor little ole you. They are probably worried sick about their son. You are right about this: "Either way, my job is to protect my son from any and all comers. Their issue is not mine to solve. " Just remember, that's also their job in regard to you. For one thing, the perception on this board that I am female is indeed incorrect. I am a concerned father. The friendship, believe me I can take it or leave it. "Poor little old me" is fine. They are the ones that continually blow up my phone. The needs of my son vs. my needs for friends? Well, they aren't even in the same galaxy. It would be much better if the parents simply said "KidX" had an accident while they were in the tub. Telling my wife to check my son's underwear to cover for a BM to me is paramount to deceit. All I expect from any parent is FULL disclosure of the truth (when it involves MY child). Anything less than the truth is NOT the truth. My 4 year old knows the difference between the truth and NOT the truth. If my child had an accident, as hard as it would be, I WOULD tell the other parents. To me, it is the right thing to do. If my child breaks something of another's, steals, hits, or has an accident in the same tub of another child, I would have to tell the other child's parents the truth (not some shade of the truth). Embarrassing as it may be, it is only respectful thing to do. As a parent, part of my job being honest with my child and honest with other parents who's child plays with mine. I don't expect them to rehash their personal history (frankly, it is none of my business), but what happens to my child is my business. The things I say in CAPS are not meant to be combative, but certain things do need to be emphasized. I do appreciate all the different responses. It is true that I am a relatively young parent, but having to hear how something really happens from a 4 year old instead of an adult just doesn't seem right. [/QUOTE]
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