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General Parenting
Approaching Parents about their child. HELP!
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<blockquote data-quote="tiredmommy" data-source="post: 84415" data-attributes="member: 1722"><p>Galactus,</p><p>I'm sure most of the parents that frequent this forum can give the reason why this parent wasn't apparently completely truthful about this incident. Each and every one of us has been burned because of the actions of our children. </p><p>We've lost friends, been distanced from family, ridiculed or dismissed by the professionals from whom we seek help. Our child are seldom invited to birthday parties or play dates. They play alone at recess. Other families leave the playground when our children show up.</p><p>It's a very lonely and painful existence to be a parent of a difficult child. The parent is often blamed and made to feel shame despite their best efforts to help their child. Most of us would happily settle for our children to be happy, productive and law-abiding. Some of our parents wish their child could make it through a school year without a stay in the psychiatric unit. Others pray they aren't causing more harm by having their children take powerful drugs to curb some aberrant behaviors. Others worry their child will be institutionalized, either in the mental health arena or the judicial system. They spend their sick time, personal time and vacation time picking up their child from school or taking them to appointments (at which every aspect of their parenting is scrutinized and critiqued). They often go into debt in order to get help for their kids due to woefully inadequate health insurance. Some lose jobs, homes or even marriages. They also worry what effect their difficult child may have on their other healthy children.</p><p>And all they want is normal: a happy, healthy child in a happy, healthy family.</p><p>You need to ask yourself when you talk of just dropping these people as friends (which is well within your rights, by the way) would you do this if the child had a heart defect? Or diabetes? Or epilepsy? I understand your concerns about your son, I just think you should also approach this matter with more compassion. Let your son lead the way, to a point. If he still wants to be friends with the boy than you should consider allowing it. Set up a context that will work for you and your family. Perhaps at daycare only, or at your home under you or your wife's direct supervision. But believe me, this little boy is the first of many that your son will come in contact with. It's inevitable, unfortunately.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tiredmommy, post: 84415, member: 1722"] Galactus, I'm sure most of the parents that frequent this forum can give the reason why this parent wasn't apparently completely truthful about this incident. Each and every one of us has been burned because of the actions of our children. We've lost friends, been distanced from family, ridiculed or dismissed by the professionals from whom we seek help. Our child are seldom invited to birthday parties or play dates. They play alone at recess. Other families leave the playground when our children show up. It's a very lonely and painful existence to be a parent of a difficult child. The parent is often blamed and made to feel shame despite their best efforts to help their child. Most of us would happily settle for our children to be happy, productive and law-abiding. Some of our parents wish their child could make it through a school year without a stay in the psychiatric unit. Others pray they aren't causing more harm by having their children take powerful drugs to curb some aberrant behaviors. Others worry their child will be institutionalized, either in the mental health arena or the judicial system. They spend their sick time, personal time and vacation time picking up their child from school or taking them to appointments (at which every aspect of their parenting is scrutinized and critiqued). They often go into debt in order to get help for their kids due to woefully inadequate health insurance. Some lose jobs, homes or even marriages. They also worry what effect their difficult child may have on their other healthy children. And all they want is normal: a happy, healthy child in a happy, healthy family. You need to ask yourself when you talk of just dropping these people as friends (which is well within your rights, by the way) would you do this if the child had a heart defect? Or diabetes? Or epilepsy? I understand your concerns about your son, I just think you should also approach this matter with more compassion. Let your son lead the way, to a point. If he still wants to be friends with the boy than you should consider allowing it. Set up a context that will work for you and your family. Perhaps at daycare only, or at your home under you or your wife's direct supervision. But believe me, this little boy is the first of many that your son will come in contact with. It's inevitable, unfortunately. [/QUOTE]
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