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Approaching Parents about their child. HELP!
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 84438" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Galactacus, </p><p></p><p>No one here is telling you that you don't have the right to be concerned about what happened--at least to prevent it from occuring again with your child--and I appreciate that you took the time to seek out the opinions of other parents to see how best to handle it. When you post here you would do well to remember that there are parents in every difficult position imaginable as members here. Some are parents of children who have issues such as you have described with this friend here...ord much, much worse. Some are parents of children who have been witnesses or victims of similar situations...or much, much worse. We need to maintain this as a soft place to land for parents, and sometimes that requires us to step in and redirect discussion, tone, etc such as we did here.</p><p></p><p>There could be many things going on with this little boy, including the possiblity that he has a mom that is in denial if it's been a recurring situation. That could explain why she handled this as she did. It's often very hard to face up to the facts and hard (not to mention often prohibitively expensive) to seek out appropriate treatments. If you are concerned that there are some ongoing issues with this boy you can address them with the parent as I suggested above. Think it through before you do so you know where you want to go with it--sometimes you can do more for a child and family by staying involved but putting appropriate supervisory restrictions in place. Other times you may decide you need to sever the relationship entirely. Where you fall in there really depends on the severity, the occurances, the nature of the relationship, the temperament of your own child, as well as your personal value system (such as hoping to be a positive influence on the life of the child in question). </p><p></p><p>Only you can determine where you fall in there with this incident. Often when you are in the hot seat it's not so cut and dry. For instance, recently a neighborhood kid stole a handheld video game and some games from our house. We opted to confront the child and family but left our doors open for him to spend time at our house in the future because we've now seen what kind of family life he has and we know he needs positive influences in his life. He has also stolen from the home of a friend and they opted to let their son handle it, without they as parents interfering. They also have opted to keep their doors open to this boy, for the same reason that we have. </p><p></p><p>Likewise I have had a parent tell me some flat out lies and now come to think of it she did the same to the mother I just mentioned above. It wasn't in a situation that would impact my kids so I had no reason to confront, but the deceitfullness did concern me so I kept my radar tuned more keenly in the future. The boy remained my son's best friend until he moved away and they still keep in touch by email 4 years later.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with this situation, and we'll be interested to hear how it all turns out. </p><p>SRL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 84438, member: 701"] Galactacus, No one here is telling you that you don't have the right to be concerned about what happened--at least to prevent it from occuring again with your child--and I appreciate that you took the time to seek out the opinions of other parents to see how best to handle it. When you post here you would do well to remember that there are parents in every difficult position imaginable as members here. Some are parents of children who have issues such as you have described with this friend here...ord much, much worse. Some are parents of children who have been witnesses or victims of similar situations...or much, much worse. We need to maintain this as a soft place to land for parents, and sometimes that requires us to step in and redirect discussion, tone, etc such as we did here. There could be many things going on with this little boy, including the possiblity that he has a mom that is in denial if it's been a recurring situation. That could explain why she handled this as she did. It's often very hard to face up to the facts and hard (not to mention often prohibitively expensive) to seek out appropriate treatments. If you are concerned that there are some ongoing issues with this boy you can address them with the parent as I suggested above. Think it through before you do so you know where you want to go with it--sometimes you can do more for a child and family by staying involved but putting appropriate supervisory restrictions in place. Other times you may decide you need to sever the relationship entirely. Where you fall in there really depends on the severity, the occurances, the nature of the relationship, the temperament of your own child, as well as your personal value system (such as hoping to be a positive influence on the life of the child in question). Only you can determine where you fall in there with this incident. Often when you are in the hot seat it's not so cut and dry. For instance, recently a neighborhood kid stole a handheld video game and some games from our house. We opted to confront the child and family but left our doors open for him to spend time at our house in the future because we've now seen what kind of family life he has and we know he needs positive influences in his life. He has also stolen from the home of a friend and they opted to let their son handle it, without they as parents interfering. They also have opted to keep their doors open to this boy, for the same reason that we have. Likewise I have had a parent tell me some flat out lies and now come to think of it she did the same to the mother I just mentioned above. It wasn't in a situation that would impact my kids so I had no reason to confront, but the deceitfullness did concern me so I kept my radar tuned more keenly in the future. The boy remained my son's best friend until he moved away and they still keep in touch by email 4 years later. Good luck with this situation, and we'll be interested to hear how it all turns out. SRL [/QUOTE]
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