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Are Christmas gifts enabling?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 673446" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Mine too.</p><p>I agree.</p><p>Me too.</p><p></p><p>I learned once something that always stuck with me. In many traditional societies rich and influential members gift to others to establish their own superiority and <em>power over</em>. </p><p></p><p>The absolute opposite of how we like to see of charity in our society. That the gifting comes from a big heart (and desire for big tax deductions.)</p><p></p><p>When I look at it that way it really brings home to me the hypocrisy of gifts. If you look at it gifts assuage guilt, they come from a sense of obligation. They are little motivated by our goodness or generosity.</p><p></p><p>They are for us, whatever the motivation.</p><p></p><p>So it makes sense to give what makes us feel better. And own it. Not to overcome a negative emotion, but so that we worry less, sleep better. We love our children and want them to be warm, fed, and safe. To try to support them to be such. To me it feels honest and correct <em>to try to help them meet these needs. Not habitually, not continuously, not thoughtlessly but on special and meaningful days. We love them.</em></p><p></p><p>And as COM and others say, let go of the result. Knowing that we did what we wanted and we could.</p><p></p><p>I hope everybody has some peace tomorrow. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 673446, member: 18958"] Mine too. I agree. Me too. I learned once something that always stuck with me. In many traditional societies rich and influential members gift to others to establish their own superiority and [I]power over[/I]. The absolute opposite of how we like to see of charity in our society. That the gifting comes from a big heart (and desire for big tax deductions.) When I look at it that way it really brings home to me the hypocrisy of gifts. If you look at it gifts assuage guilt, they come from a sense of obligation. They are little motivated by our goodness or generosity. They are for us, whatever the motivation. So it makes sense to give what makes us feel better. And own it. Not to overcome a negative emotion, but so that we worry less, sleep better. We love our children and want them to be warm, fed, and safe. To try to support them to be such. To me it feels honest and correct [I]to try to help them meet these needs. Not habitually, not continuously, not thoughtlessly but on special and meaningful days. We love them.[/I] And as COM and others say, let go of the result. Knowing that we did what we wanted and we could. I hope everybody has some peace tomorrow. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Are Christmas gifts enabling?
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