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General Parenting
Are Internet Behavior Programs Worth Buying?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 155464" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi Grant! Welcome, sorry you had to come find us.</p><p> </p><p>i strongly URGE you to stay away from ANYTHING that has a guarantee - be it behavior program, "all-natural cure" (remember, belladonna, curare, hemlock, and many other poisons are "all-natural"), or gadget.</p><p> </p><p>The sad truth is that NOTHING is going to magically cure our kids. If it did, one of us would have found it and shared it. We are that kind of a community. We are each actively seeking something (anything!) to help our children, and very open and giving about what we discover. </p><p> </p><p>The Total Transformation sounds much like Love and Logic. At a much greater price. You can get an idea about Love and Logic from <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a> - I have gotten benefit even from things aimed at teachers.</p><p> </p><p>The Explosive Child is a REALLY good place to start. It helps you look at things the way your child thinks. And, as long as this board has been here, to be recommended almost universally it has "earned" its recommendation. </p><p> </p><p>I also STRONGLY urge you to do a signature (this will help US remember your situation and things you ahve tried, so we can suggest other things you may not have). Even more helpful to your family, is the Parent Report. This is found on the Board FAQ forum (just above the general forum on the index). I think it may be termed Parent Input.</p><p> </p><p>A Parent Report is a way to write down what your hopes and dreams are for your child. What you have seen, tried, experts you have consulted, medications or other things you have tried. It is a way to not only keep it straight in YOUR mind, but also to clearly convey it to any professionals (docs, therapists, school, whomever) you go to for help. In mine I not only put my difficult child's photo on the front, but also at the beginning of every section, and in the middle of some especially long ones. I kept feeling the docs were not seeing HIM, but getting him confused with other children. After the photos, several of our docs stopped calling him/us by the wrong names! And, having the report helped when Childrens "Protection" entered our lives, and when the juvenile legal system also entered our lives.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever you try, remember that physical discipline/violence NEVER work with our kids - at least not in any long term way.</p><p> </p><p>Remember that EVERY parent loses it occasionally - you look at what you ahve done, assess how you could have done it, apologize and then move on to the next crisis.</p><p> </p><p>We also ask you to take what can help you and your family, and offer support or ideas where you can. Even if it is just hugs to someone.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 155464, member: 1233"] Hi Grant! Welcome, sorry you had to come find us. i strongly URGE you to stay away from ANYTHING that has a guarantee - be it behavior program, "all-natural cure" (remember, belladonna, curare, hemlock, and many other poisons are "all-natural"), or gadget. The sad truth is that NOTHING is going to magically cure our kids. If it did, one of us would have found it and shared it. We are that kind of a community. We are each actively seeking something (anything!) to help our children, and very open and giving about what we discover. The Total Transformation sounds much like Love and Logic. At a much greater price. You can get an idea about Love and Logic from [URL="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]www.loveandlogic.com[/URL] - I have gotten benefit even from things aimed at teachers. The Explosive Child is a REALLY good place to start. It helps you look at things the way your child thinks. And, as long as this board has been here, to be recommended almost universally it has "earned" its recommendation. I also STRONGLY urge you to do a signature (this will help US remember your situation and things you ahve tried, so we can suggest other things you may not have). Even more helpful to your family, is the Parent Report. This is found on the Board FAQ forum (just above the general forum on the index). I think it may be termed Parent Input. A Parent Report is a way to write down what your hopes and dreams are for your child. What you have seen, tried, experts you have consulted, medications or other things you have tried. It is a way to not only keep it straight in YOUR mind, but also to clearly convey it to any professionals (docs, therapists, school, whomever) you go to for help. In mine I not only put my difficult child's photo on the front, but also at the beginning of every section, and in the middle of some especially long ones. I kept feeling the docs were not seeing HIM, but getting him confused with other children. After the photos, several of our docs stopped calling him/us by the wrong names! And, having the report helped when Childrens "Protection" entered our lives, and when the juvenile legal system also entered our lives. Whatever you try, remember that physical discipline/violence NEVER work with our kids - at least not in any long term way. Remember that EVERY parent loses it occasionally - you look at what you ahve done, assess how you could have done it, apologize and then move on to the next crisis. We also ask you to take what can help you and your family, and offer support or ideas where you can. Even if it is just hugs to someone. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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