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General Parenting
Are you a great mom? (Article)
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 99082" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Great article and one all of us should take to heart.</p><p></p><p>I remember when I first adopted my daughter. I would listen to the advice of everyone -- family, friends, therapists, teachers. Of course, little of their advice worked. Her theraist finally put his foot down and told me to listen to my gut and ignore everyone else, even him.</p><p></p><p>That's when I finally started just watching my child and doing what I felt was right. It made a huge difference. I carried her from age 4 to 6. If that child walked 2 feet when I was around, it was a small miracle. However, it bonded her to me. She was safe in my arms. It gave her the safety she didn't have as an infant. I didn't rationalize that, I didn't even think it through. I just noticed that she was calmest in my arms, so in my arms she went whenever possible. She wanted to play baby with her being the baby at age 6 -- diapers, bottle, baby food, binkie. She got it. Again, it helped her. I heard lots of comments about my babying her. I had heard lots of comments when she was screaming her head off, when she was stabbing me, when she was running into the middle of the street. Well, she wasn't doing those things when I did it my way.</p><p></p><p>I wanted to hold her back in pre-school because she was so immature. They said no. I listened. I said there was something wrong with her reading ability in first grade. They said no. I listened -- they were the pros. By second grade, I quit listening to them and listened to me. I banged on doors since I'd never heard of an IEP. I think they got sick of my non-stop phone calls and gave her an IEP without a single test! Then I started whining about testing her. It took another year but they finally tested and, surprise, surprise she had dyslexia.</p><p></p><p>So, the best advice I think we should all take to heart is believe in ourselves first and foremost. We know our children the best. We've seen what works and what doesn't. If we find a better way to help our kids, then switch but don't just change because someone says making them walk backwards will slow them down. However, if you find they like walking backwards and it does slow them down, go for it. Do what is right for your child, your family, you; not what other friends, family members, even "pros" tell you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 99082, member: 3626"] Great article and one all of us should take to heart. I remember when I first adopted my daughter. I would listen to the advice of everyone -- family, friends, therapists, teachers. Of course, little of their advice worked. Her theraist finally put his foot down and told me to listen to my gut and ignore everyone else, even him. That's when I finally started just watching my child and doing what I felt was right. It made a huge difference. I carried her from age 4 to 6. If that child walked 2 feet when I was around, it was a small miracle. However, it bonded her to me. She was safe in my arms. It gave her the safety she didn't have as an infant. I didn't rationalize that, I didn't even think it through. I just noticed that she was calmest in my arms, so in my arms she went whenever possible. She wanted to play baby with her being the baby at age 6 -- diapers, bottle, baby food, binkie. She got it. Again, it helped her. I heard lots of comments about my babying her. I had heard lots of comments when she was screaming her head off, when she was stabbing me, when she was running into the middle of the street. Well, she wasn't doing those things when I did it my way. I wanted to hold her back in pre-school because she was so immature. They said no. I listened. I said there was something wrong with her reading ability in first grade. They said no. I listened -- they were the pros. By second grade, I quit listening to them and listened to me. I banged on doors since I'd never heard of an IEP. I think they got sick of my non-stop phone calls and gave her an IEP without a single test! Then I started whining about testing her. It took another year but they finally tested and, surprise, surprise she had dyslexia. So, the best advice I think we should all take to heart is believe in ourselves first and foremost. We know our children the best. We've seen what works and what doesn't. If we find a better way to help our kids, then switch but don't just change because someone says making them walk backwards will slow them down. However, if you find they like walking backwards and it does slow them down, go for it. Do what is right for your child, your family, you; not what other friends, family members, even "pros" tell you. [/QUOTE]
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