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Are you ever sad when you hear about highly successful kids?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 460932" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I think I've got one of both. A high achiever and then one of the potential "successes" that InsaneCdn mentions. Matt has not graduated high school. He is finally considering college but says IF he goes it will be a two year program at community college or even a two year condensed to one year program. He hasn't participated in a activity since grade 8 basketball. He never learned proper basic household skills or money skills. Never held a part time job. Could never be convinced to do chores. He spent all of his time at home and had no friends through high school. I consider him a huge success at 18 (knock on wood, I can only hope he continues on this path). He is paying half the mortgage along side his g/f. He's full time employed and is now assistant manager. He is becoming adept at chores but also home and yard maintenance. I could not convince him to even write for his beginner license. He is now driving on his own and learning basic mechanics to maintain routine things on his girlfriend's car and he is saving to buy a car from one of her relatives. He is still a high school dropout and still college is up in the air. But he's making decent money, more than minimum wage. He's proud of his responsability. Today the big thing in his phone call home was trying to get the guts to fire a staff member (who indeed has run out of chances and must go). He's learning to enjoy the responsibility of his job even though it requires a lot of him. He is at work by 5a.m. and some days he has to go back at midnight to place large orders. He works overtime with no compensation, although he'll get a year end bonus to compensate those hours. He has pride. He has a job. He is learning skills. He isn't in jail. He isn't partying, drugging or drinking. He treats his g/f well. He is making friends with other men. He joined a basketball team. He is not rich. He looks better at work than he'd come across on a resume if that makes sense. He's working hard but he's not reaching for any stars. He's unable to figure out how to do taxes or basic banking and relies heavily on calling me to talk him through things step by step, or asks for his g/f's help. To me? He's made it. He's doing more at 18 than I pictured back when I joined the board and he was so far off track I feared hugely for his future and hadn't any more belief he could pick himself up and do well. </p><p></p><p>easy child on the other hand. She gets high grades. She has always been in multiple activities. Years of hockey, soccer, basketball, golf, art classes, creative writing. She has always talked since she started school about going to university for at least a masters degree. She's aiming for a big name school. This year she's in cadets, swimming and starting piano lessons. As part of cadets she is trying out for the air force band and that would mean another evening at practice plus more practice at home, so learning that instrument plus piano. This afternoon she did a speech to the school to run for deputy Prime Minister on student council and she is joining her school basketball team. She has high goals and I don't doubt a bit she's going to achieve them and more.</p><p></p><p>I am proud of both of my children. The funny thing is, although I wouldn't hurt the kids telling them this, I feel a larger pride in Matt. (not to discount my easy child's gifts and efforts at ALL) Things come easy to easy child. Nothing comes easy to Matt. He struggles to make friends. He isn't a joiner. He has interests that most men don't so he doesn't mingle well. He has low self esteem and no confidence. He has to work 10 times harder than easy child to accomplish something and he has physical disabilities that prohibit him or make things far more difficult. He has to work to contain anger and to behave in socially acceptable ways. But there he is. Moved half way across the country on his own, jumped into the unknown and is working his hiney off to make a life for himself. He himself says he'll not end up as career driven as easy child and probably always live pay to pay but that he's happy and learning to be proud of what he can do and to stretch his belief in what is possible for him. I admire him in so many ways.</p><p></p><p>I think it's impossible to not at some point notice others accomplishments that we might have wanted for our kids but that aren't happening. I tend to try to view challenged kids as huge successes when they push their own boundaries and defy the limited expectations they had of themselves or others had of them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 460932, member: 4264"] I think I've got one of both. A high achiever and then one of the potential "successes" that InsaneCdn mentions. Matt has not graduated high school. He is finally considering college but says IF he goes it will be a two year program at community college or even a two year condensed to one year program. He hasn't participated in a activity since grade 8 basketball. He never learned proper basic household skills or money skills. Never held a part time job. Could never be convinced to do chores. He spent all of his time at home and had no friends through high school. I consider him a huge success at 18 (knock on wood, I can only hope he continues on this path). He is paying half the mortgage along side his g/f. He's full time employed and is now assistant manager. He is becoming adept at chores but also home and yard maintenance. I could not convince him to even write for his beginner license. He is now driving on his own and learning basic mechanics to maintain routine things on his girlfriend's car and he is saving to buy a car from one of her relatives. He is still a high school dropout and still college is up in the air. But he's making decent money, more than minimum wage. He's proud of his responsability. Today the big thing in his phone call home was trying to get the guts to fire a staff member (who indeed has run out of chances and must go). He's learning to enjoy the responsibility of his job even though it requires a lot of him. He is at work by 5a.m. and some days he has to go back at midnight to place large orders. He works overtime with no compensation, although he'll get a year end bonus to compensate those hours. He has pride. He has a job. He is learning skills. He isn't in jail. He isn't partying, drugging or drinking. He treats his g/f well. He is making friends with other men. He joined a basketball team. He is not rich. He looks better at work than he'd come across on a resume if that makes sense. He's working hard but he's not reaching for any stars. He's unable to figure out how to do taxes or basic banking and relies heavily on calling me to talk him through things step by step, or asks for his g/f's help. To me? He's made it. He's doing more at 18 than I pictured back when I joined the board and he was so far off track I feared hugely for his future and hadn't any more belief he could pick himself up and do well. easy child on the other hand. She gets high grades. She has always been in multiple activities. Years of hockey, soccer, basketball, golf, art classes, creative writing. She has always talked since she started school about going to university for at least a masters degree. She's aiming for a big name school. This year she's in cadets, swimming and starting piano lessons. As part of cadets she is trying out for the air force band and that would mean another evening at practice plus more practice at home, so learning that instrument plus piano. This afternoon she did a speech to the school to run for deputy Prime Minister on student council and she is joining her school basketball team. She has high goals and I don't doubt a bit she's going to achieve them and more. I am proud of both of my children. The funny thing is, although I wouldn't hurt the kids telling them this, I feel a larger pride in Matt. (not to discount my easy child's gifts and efforts at ALL) Things come easy to easy child. Nothing comes easy to Matt. He struggles to make friends. He isn't a joiner. He has interests that most men don't so he doesn't mingle well. He has low self esteem and no confidence. He has to work 10 times harder than easy child to accomplish something and he has physical disabilities that prohibit him or make things far more difficult. He has to work to contain anger and to behave in socially acceptable ways. But there he is. Moved half way across the country on his own, jumped into the unknown and is working his hiney off to make a life for himself. He himself says he'll not end up as career driven as easy child and probably always live pay to pay but that he's happy and learning to be proud of what he can do and to stretch his belief in what is possible for him. I admire him in so many ways. I think it's impossible to not at some point notice others accomplishments that we might have wanted for our kids but that aren't happening. I tend to try to view challenged kids as huge successes when they push their own boundaries and defy the limited expectations they had of themselves or others had of them. [/QUOTE]
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