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Parent Emeritus
Are you glad you had kids? I open my heart to you:
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 99256" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Well, had I never had children, I would have felt cheated.</p><p></p><p>I think the challenges each of my children has presented made me bigger ~ what I am not so sure of is whether that growth, those areas of growth, matter.</p><p></p><p>There was such hope with the kids' births. I was totally committed to them through their entire childhoods and adolescences.</p><p></p><p>As we all do, I made sacrifices to guarantee their safety and success.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, I feel cheated.</p><p></p><p>You know ~ I gave up this, that and the next so I could be the PTA mom et al, and LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY CHILD.</p><p></p><p>I hid those truths, that resentment, from myself for a very long time.</p><p></p><p>It was poisoning my spirit.</p><p></p><p>But it had nothing to do with my child, really.</p><p></p><p>It had to do with how I perceived myself, and with whether I was willing to legitimize a kind of victim's hatred.</p><p></p><p>So I guess the answer is that I would always choose to have my children again, but I would wish to have become healthier regarding my boundaries between their choices and actions as adults and my sense of responsibility, or shame, or whatever it is that I feel, for those choices sooner.</p><p></p><p>This is all very new to me, too.</p><p></p><p>I am still a little shaky on my pins.</p><p></p><p>But I think this is the correct path.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 99256, member: 3353"] Well, had I never had children, I would have felt cheated. I think the challenges each of my children has presented made me bigger ~ what I am not so sure of is whether that growth, those areas of growth, matter. There was such hope with the kids' births. I was totally committed to them through their entire childhoods and adolescences. As we all do, I made sacrifices to guarantee their safety and success. Sometimes, I feel cheated. You know ~ I gave up this, that and the next so I could be the PTA mom et al, and LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO MY CHILD. I hid those truths, that resentment, from myself for a very long time. It was poisoning my spirit. But it had nothing to do with my child, really. It had to do with how I perceived myself, and with whether I was willing to legitimize a kind of victim's hatred. So I guess the answer is that I would always choose to have my children again, but I would wish to have become healthier regarding my boundaries between their choices and actions as adults and my sense of responsibility, or shame, or whatever it is that I feel, for those choices sooner. This is all very new to me, too. I am still a little shaky on my pins. But I think this is the correct path. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Are you glad you had kids? I open my heart to you:
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