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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Arrested and Suspended, All in One Day. Smh...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 587410" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Welcome Sierra.... I feel for you and your family. It is very rough to be dealing with a kid who is starting to abuse substances at such a young age. I have been there. I totally understand your committment and drive to make sure this addiction stuff does not happen to any of your kids, especially this son who is already struggling. And yes given his age you should do everything you can to help him now. What worries me a little bit for you is that ultimately you dont have control over which way he goes and you may not be able to prevent him from becoming an addict. That is also a sad truth. There are lots of us on this board whose kids came from good families without the kinds of issues your dhs son has faced who are now dealing with addiction. I know from the time since my son was 14 I like you have been driven to save him.... and ultimately I was not able to do so. Now at 21 he is at a place that is helping him but he has also been through a lot and I think really wants the help in a new way...but we have been going through this for almost 10 years.</p><p></p><p>One thing to think about also is the role of shame.... I dont think shaming the addict really works. So yes you want him to take repsonsibility for his actions and the effects those actions have on the family but I am not sure emphasizing that to him will really do anything but make himself feel worse about himself and so feel more of a need to numb those feelings by using. At least that is my experience with my son.</p><p></p><p>*TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 587410, member: 15801"] Welcome Sierra.... I feel for you and your family. It is very rough to be dealing with a kid who is starting to abuse substances at such a young age. I have been there. I totally understand your committment and drive to make sure this addiction stuff does not happen to any of your kids, especially this son who is already struggling. And yes given his age you should do everything you can to help him now. What worries me a little bit for you is that ultimately you dont have control over which way he goes and you may not be able to prevent him from becoming an addict. That is also a sad truth. There are lots of us on this board whose kids came from good families without the kinds of issues your dhs son has faced who are now dealing with addiction. I know from the time since my son was 14 I like you have been driven to save him.... and ultimately I was not able to do so. Now at 21 he is at a place that is helping him but he has also been through a lot and I think really wants the help in a new way...but we have been going through this for almost 10 years. One thing to think about also is the role of shame.... I dont think shaming the addict really works. So yes you want him to take repsonsibility for his actions and the effects those actions have on the family but I am not sure emphasizing that to him will really do anything but make himself feel worse about himself and so feel more of a need to numb those feelings by using. At least that is my experience with my son. *TL [/QUOTE]
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Arrested and Suspended, All in One Day. Smh...
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