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It bothers you because he's being manipulative and I know that always makes my stomach turn. As good as we get at detatching, the old feelings come back so quickly when it comes to their difficult child'ness. I know there are certain things my son does that make me so anxious sometimes because it makes so much come flooding back to me that I don't ever want to go back to dealing with. You are used to peace now and when he interrupts that peace, it will bother you.