Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
As I've reported the tweedles annual....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 499760" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I read this the day you posted and wanted to take some time to think about it. I don't know if I know enough about what being a vulnerable adult entails - who says you are, how you fight it if you object, what it means in terms of your rights and freedoms.</p><p></p><p>In wm's case I wonder about what would happen when he tests his "toughness" out in the world against all the other people and what they think "tough" is. Guys do the stuff that doesn't make sense to women that my dad calls chest thumping and woofing. Chest thumping is doing something to try to prove you are the strongest hopefully with-o actually fighting. Woofing is all the stuff they say about how tough they are what they are going to do to you and all that stuff my mom calls "macho guy-stupid" or "macho GS" (She came up with that term for gfgbro when she didn't want to outright say BS but it was close and she was trying to show us that you don't have to cuss to express things colorfully.) </p><p></p><p>I have a feeling that wm might start with the woofing or chest-thumping and end up either snapping or being goaded into a situation wheere someone got seriously hurt. That would be bad for him on so many levels that it scares me. I am also scared of what his idea of dating behavior might be. I don't know what it is, but I have the impression that it probably isn't healthy for either party. That can also get you into huge trouble. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I can very much see wm just losing it and hurting someone badly and thus hurting himself in the process. If making him a VA will help him avoid this, then I would support it. Especially on the condition that you are NOT his guardian. Your health and life must come first and it could end up being dangerous if you said no to something and he got very upset. Would having him be a VA mean that there would be some help available for your future visits with him? Given the history and his behavior on the family trip, I do worry that if he is on his own then you might end up in a risky situation where he just showed up or somehow got in when you were gone. I am a worrywart, but if at some point he sees you as the root of his problem then hopefully being a VA might mean that there was some supervision for when you did spend time together, f that is even possible.</p><p></p><p>For kt, I think she NEEDS to be a VA. The chances that some predator will find her and get her into some type of illegal and/or unhealthy behavior seems very very high if she does not have someone who can look out for her best interests. Whomever is the case manager or whatever needs to understand this dynamic and that is something kt has been manipulated into in the past. I fear what people will do to her and will make her do if/when she is "on her own". Of course that supposed there is someone to "be there". I hope there is.</p><p></p><p>Under NO circumstances should you be their guardian. Interested relative, yes. Mom? Heck YES! But not guardian. They need someone they can blame, and someone who can say NO and then tolerate all the fallout that comes. You have done enough. Not being guardian doesn't mean not being Mom or not loving them. It simply means passing the torch and being part of the booster club instead of the coach and wardrobe person and everything else. </p><p></p><p>18 is a scary number, in my opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 499760, member: 1233"] I read this the day you posted and wanted to take some time to think about it. I don't know if I know enough about what being a vulnerable adult entails - who says you are, how you fight it if you object, what it means in terms of your rights and freedoms. In wm's case I wonder about what would happen when he tests his "toughness" out in the world against all the other people and what they think "tough" is. Guys do the stuff that doesn't make sense to women that my dad calls chest thumping and woofing. Chest thumping is doing something to try to prove you are the strongest hopefully with-o actually fighting. Woofing is all the stuff they say about how tough they are what they are going to do to you and all that stuff my mom calls "macho guy-stupid" or "macho GS" (She came up with that term for gfgbro when she didn't want to outright say BS but it was close and she was trying to show us that you don't have to cuss to express things colorfully.) I have a feeling that wm might start with the woofing or chest-thumping and end up either snapping or being goaded into a situation wheere someone got seriously hurt. That would be bad for him on so many levels that it scares me. I am also scared of what his idea of dating behavior might be. I don't know what it is, but I have the impression that it probably isn't healthy for either party. That can also get you into huge trouble. I can very much see wm just losing it and hurting someone badly and thus hurting himself in the process. If making him a VA will help him avoid this, then I would support it. Especially on the condition that you are NOT his guardian. Your health and life must come first and it could end up being dangerous if you said no to something and he got very upset. Would having him be a VA mean that there would be some help available for your future visits with him? Given the history and his behavior on the family trip, I do worry that if he is on his own then you might end up in a risky situation where he just showed up or somehow got in when you were gone. I am a worrywart, but if at some point he sees you as the root of his problem then hopefully being a VA might mean that there was some supervision for when you did spend time together, f that is even possible. For kt, I think she NEEDS to be a VA. The chances that some predator will find her and get her into some type of illegal and/or unhealthy behavior seems very very high if she does not have someone who can look out for her best interests. Whomever is the case manager or whatever needs to understand this dynamic and that is something kt has been manipulated into in the past. I fear what people will do to her and will make her do if/when she is "on her own". Of course that supposed there is someone to "be there". I hope there is. Under NO circumstances should you be their guardian. Interested relative, yes. Mom? Heck YES! But not guardian. They need someone they can blame, and someone who can say NO and then tolerate all the fallout that comes. You have done enough. Not being guardian doesn't mean not being Mom or not loving them. It simply means passing the torch and being part of the booster club instead of the coach and wardrobe person and everything else. 18 is a scary number, in my opinion. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
As I've reported the tweedles annual....
Top