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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 765323" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think it was.</p><p></p><p>As I understand, your son asked about either a sober living house <em><strong>or a drug treatment program.</strong></em> You asked his question to the public defender exactly as your son presented it to you. Your son got the answer he wanted. The public defender said<em> <strong>yes, if he went into a drug treatment program, he could get a bond for it. </strong></em>Then: <em><strong>When I went back to my son with this, he said he doesn't belong in drug treatment. </strong></em></p><p></p><p>Your son, I think, is playing. He's bargaining. He's manipulating. He's negotiating. He's trying to get his best deal. <em><strong>Your son believes his welfare depends upon what he extracts from you, not what he asks of himself.</strong></em></p><p></p><p>This is what needs to happen for him to change himself and his life. <em><strong>He, not you, needs to dig down deep, to truly see how he is living and that he needs to change. </strong></em>He needs his<strong><em> own </em></strong>support, not yours.</p><p></p><p>He, <strong><em>not you</em></strong>, needs to get that extra job and save for a place for him and a car.</p><p></p><p>You are not being delusional. <strong><em>But, you may be deceiving yourself. Believing that the problem is in you and that you can solve it.</em></strong><span style="color: rgb(85, 57, 130)"> <em><span style="font-size: 26px">Only he can.</span></em> </span> The way I read this post is that you followed through with what your son asked. He is pushing for more, for better terms. <strong><em>From others. </em></strong></p><p></p><p>Until he learns that the better terms come from within himself, he will keep living as he does. No matter what you do. No matter how much research you do. No matter how many jobs you get. No matter how much you save. No matter how many cars you buy. Or places you rent for him.</p><p></p><p>The change must come from him.</p><p></p><p>The change you're responsible for is in yourself. Same for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 765323, member: 18958"] I think it was. As I understand, your son asked about either a sober living house [I][B]or a drug treatment program.[/B][/I] You asked his question to the public defender exactly as your son presented it to you. Your son got the answer he wanted. The public defender said[I] [B]yes, if he went into a drug treatment program, he could get a bond for it. [/B][/I]Then: [I][B]When I went back to my son with this, he said he doesn't belong in drug treatment. [/B][/I] Your son, I think, is playing. He's bargaining. He's manipulating. He's negotiating. He's trying to get his best deal. [I][B]Your son believes his welfare depends upon what he extracts from you, not what he asks of himself.[/B][/I] This is what needs to happen for him to change himself and his life. [I][B]He, not you, needs to dig down deep, to truly see how he is living and that he needs to change. [/B][/I]He needs his[B][I] own [/I][/B]support, not yours. He, [B][I]not you[/I][/B], needs to get that extra job and save for a place for him and a car. You are not being delusional. [B][I]But, you may be deceiving yourself. Believing that the problem is in you and that you can solve it.[/I][/B][COLOR=rgb(85, 57, 130)] [I][SIZE=7]Only he can.[/SIZE][/I] [/COLOR] The way I read this post is that you followed through with what your son asked. He is pushing for more, for better terms. [B][I]From others. [/I][/B] Until he learns that the better terms come from within himself, he will keep living as he does. No matter what you do. No matter how much research you do. No matter how many jobs you get. No matter how much you save. No matter how many cars you buy. Or places you rent for him. The change must come from him. The change you're responsible for is in yourself. Same for me. [/QUOTE]
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