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Parent Emeritus
At the end of my rope and just lost...
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<blockquote data-quote="Albatross" data-source="post: 630091" data-attributes="member: 17720"><p>Lil, at the end of your rope is sometimes a good place to be because it leaves you no option but to let go. </p><p></p><p>I could have written much of your story, including the rules and even the CAPS to show that I really MEANT it this time. Like COM said, they weren't worth the paper they were written on, much less all the vitriol and anguish that went into composing them. My son knew all those things, he just didn't care. My response was to make more rules, because I just couldn't comprehend that I could care so much when he didn't care at all. But why should he care? </p><p></p><p>There are ways to determine if he is applying for jobs or not, if you want to supervise things to that extent. We did that with my son, setting up elaborate timetables, asking him to show us 3 applications at the end of each day, blah, blah, blah. In retrospect I wish we hadn't wasted the time. He never had any intention of finding a job, and as soon as we forced the issue he left of his own volition and couch-surfed with friends for as long as they would let him.</p><p></p><p>In my opinion he is old enough that you shouldn't have to wonder whether or not he is doing what he says he is doing. I would tell him to have a job with X hours a week by X date or he will have to make other living arrangements.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Albatross, post: 630091, member: 17720"] Lil, at the end of your rope is sometimes a good place to be because it leaves you no option but to let go. I could have written much of your story, including the rules and even the CAPS to show that I really MEANT it this time. Like COM said, they weren't worth the paper they were written on, much less all the vitriol and anguish that went into composing them. My son knew all those things, he just didn't care. My response was to make more rules, because I just couldn't comprehend that I could care so much when he didn't care at all. But why should he care? There are ways to determine if he is applying for jobs or not, if you want to supervise things to that extent. We did that with my son, setting up elaborate timetables, asking him to show us 3 applications at the end of each day, blah, blah, blah. In retrospect I wish we hadn't wasted the time. He never had any intention of finding a job, and as soon as we forced the issue he left of his own volition and couch-surfed with friends for as long as they would let him. In my opinion he is old enough that you shouldn't have to wonder whether or not he is doing what he says he is doing. I would tell him to have a job with X hours a week by X date or he will have to make other living arrangements. [/QUOTE]
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At the end of my rope and just lost...
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