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General Parenting
At the end of my rope, ready to pop a vein in my forehead
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 338480" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Are the counselors assigned through Social Services?</p><p> </p><p>If so, find another agency - find a psychologist connected to the medical field. You can ask your son's doctor which psychologists he recommends. Social Services seem to try to smooth things over - they can't change the kids so they try to change the parent. I doubt they really understand the medical side of what is going on. The message they are sending you is harmful to everyone in the picture. Hiding from the problems will only have you walking on egg shells in no time flat. Avoiding a situation at any cost is what Social Services wants you to do. That will NEVER help your son. He needs someone who really cares about him and your family - not counselors who are just showing up and telling you everything will be o.k. if only YOU make sure your son doesn't behave in such a way. If that was possible, you wouldn't be in this situation.</p><p> </p><p>I think I would also be very tempted to write a letter to the head of Social Services (Those so called counselors have supervisors) about the "services" or lack there of that these "employees" gave you. Put in the letter, "How does so and so's hostility over her ex have ANYTHING to do with my family and getting help for my son? Your employees are more interested in counseling themselves that finding help for us. I request that we are assigned to new counselors who can focus on their jobs and not bring their own personal problems into the picture." Include the list you gave us and how you know this advise is so far off the mark that the supervisors (or management) needs to hear how their employees are not doing their jobs well.</p><p> </p><p>You need to find a pychologist who has a good working relationship with a psychiatrist. A team who is really dedicated to discovering what is going on with difficult child and can help him with both the medicines and the behaviors.</p><p> </p><p>My Diva was violent at times during her pre-teen years. Her attitude toward difficult child I am very sure fed into if did not create his anxiety. Your little easy child does not understand what is going on, but I can bet she will grow into an anxiety disorder just from the fear she lives in day to day. You don't have to understand what is going on to FEEL the tension in the house. Babies and children are not resilient to ongoing tension. They may display strength but some day it will come back to haunt them. Some day they will not be able to hold it together and will have to work through the violence in the home memories to grow.</p><p> </p><p>If you come to the point that you truly believe that difficult child would harm the baby, I think I would visit the court system and ask how restraining orders might work with siblings. It sounds strange but for some reason, that kept coming up in my thoughts as I read your post.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 338480, member: 5096"] Are the counselors assigned through Social Services? If so, find another agency - find a psychologist connected to the medical field. You can ask your son's doctor which psychologists he recommends. Social Services seem to try to smooth things over - they can't change the kids so they try to change the parent. I doubt they really understand the medical side of what is going on. The message they are sending you is harmful to everyone in the picture. Hiding from the problems will only have you walking on egg shells in no time flat. Avoiding a situation at any cost is what Social Services wants you to do. That will NEVER help your son. He needs someone who really cares about him and your family - not counselors who are just showing up and telling you everything will be o.k. if only YOU make sure your son doesn't behave in such a way. If that was possible, you wouldn't be in this situation. I think I would also be very tempted to write a letter to the head of Social Services (Those so called counselors have supervisors) about the "services" or lack there of that these "employees" gave you. Put in the letter, "How does so and so's hostility over her ex have ANYTHING to do with my family and getting help for my son? Your employees are more interested in counseling themselves that finding help for us. I request that we are assigned to new counselors who can focus on their jobs and not bring their own personal problems into the picture." Include the list you gave us and how you know this advise is so far off the mark that the supervisors (or management) needs to hear how their employees are not doing their jobs well. You need to find a pychologist who has a good working relationship with a psychiatrist. A team who is really dedicated to discovering what is going on with difficult child and can help him with both the medicines and the behaviors. My Diva was violent at times during her pre-teen years. Her attitude toward difficult child I am very sure fed into if did not create his anxiety. Your little easy child does not understand what is going on, but I can bet she will grow into an anxiety disorder just from the fear she lives in day to day. You don't have to understand what is going on to FEEL the tension in the house. Babies and children are not resilient to ongoing tension. They may display strength but some day it will come back to haunt them. Some day they will not be able to hold it together and will have to work through the violence in the home memories to grow. If you come to the point that you truly believe that difficult child would harm the baby, I think I would visit the court system and ask how restraining orders might work with siblings. It sounds strange but for some reason, that kept coming up in my thoughts as I read your post. [/QUOTE]
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