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At the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 431244" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Hi. Welcome. Sorry you had to find us... but glad you did.</p><p> </p><p>ADHD is characterized by uneven development. These kids are anything BUT "their age". Some parts of them will be way ahead of their peers, and other parts will be way behind. This is "normal" for ADHD.</p><p> </p><p>Our experience is that the biggest problem is the definition of "peers". Schools force the kids to associate with those who are their same AGE. The reality is - these kids should really be doing NOTHING with kids their own age, or at least not with a whole group of them. But school makes them stick together, "because its good for them socially". (I'm not the swearing type, but its tempting). Team sports are the same problem.</p><p> </p><p>These kids need multi-age groups - where they can hang out with kids who are their emotional age at that point - and sometimes it will be with kids 2+ years younger, and sometimes it will be with kids 2+ years older... but it won'd be with kids their own age.</p><p> </p><p>Does he have any skills or interests that would tie into multi-age groups? community band, art classes, swimming clubs, cadets, etc... He needs activities where he can be himself in a positive way, and be accepted for his accomplishments. Do you have Big Brothers around? That might provide a mentor... </p><p> </p><p>He will be so desperate to be "accepted" that he will pay the price - any price - to be accepted by ANY group - and you don't want to go there. THIS is what will take him down the negative path you painted... but it does NOT have to go that way.</p><p> </p><p>It will help others here if you create a signature (see site resources).</p><p>It will also help to know...</p><p>- who did the diagnoses and when</p><p>- whether the depression is considered "primary" or "secondary" (is it caused by other problems?)</p><p>- medications</p><p>- what supports does he have at school</p><p>- etc.</p><p> </p><p>Others will join in later, I'm sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 431244, member: 11791"] Hi. Welcome. Sorry you had to find us... but glad you did. ADHD is characterized by uneven development. These kids are anything BUT "their age". Some parts of them will be way ahead of their peers, and other parts will be way behind. This is "normal" for ADHD. Our experience is that the biggest problem is the definition of "peers". Schools force the kids to associate with those who are their same AGE. The reality is - these kids should really be doing NOTHING with kids their own age, or at least not with a whole group of them. But school makes them stick together, "because its good for them socially". (I'm not the swearing type, but its tempting). Team sports are the same problem. These kids need multi-age groups - where they can hang out with kids who are their emotional age at that point - and sometimes it will be with kids 2+ years younger, and sometimes it will be with kids 2+ years older... but it won'd be with kids their own age. Does he have any skills or interests that would tie into multi-age groups? community band, art classes, swimming clubs, cadets, etc... He needs activities where he can be himself in a positive way, and be accepted for his accomplishments. Do you have Big Brothers around? That might provide a mentor... He will be so desperate to be "accepted" that he will pay the price - any price - to be accepted by ANY group - and you don't want to go there. THIS is what will take him down the negative path you painted... but it does NOT have to go that way. It will help others here if you create a signature (see site resources). It will also help to know... - who did the diagnoses and when - whether the depression is considered "primary" or "secondary" (is it caused by other problems?) - medications - what supports does he have at school - etc. Others will join in later, I'm sure. [/QUOTE]
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