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At wits end...what are my options?
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<blockquote data-quote="Midwest" data-source="post: 727589" data-attributes="member: 17092"><p>I don't know about the laws in your state, but the way my daughter was finally removed from our home was when we wouldn't allow her into the house unless we inspected her purse. She was living with her Dad and he knew she had a weapon (large knife) and drugs, and he told her she would not be allowed into the home until she turned them over along with her phone. She of course would not, so we called the police. They told him to let her in the house and he refused without first getting the drugs, weapon, and phone. She would not. So, they called me to get her. I refused and said I would not come and get her unless she gave up her purse and turned over the weapon, drugs, and phone. So the police actually hung up on me, and told my husband they would prosecute him for locking her out of the house. He said "GO FOR IT". So she went to a temp foster home, CPS became involved, and we told them the story of the years of her abusing us and her refusal to take medication. We were threatened repeatedly by CPS and I provided written statements from a therapist and her psychiatrist that she was a danger to myself and my minor child. They still tried to get me to take her back and I refused until they could give ME a written statement by a psychiatrist that she was no longer a danger to us. Of course there's no way they could ever get that. After that I hired an attorney and that's the only way I finally got CPS off my ass. So, she remained in foster care for 2 years although she was put in residential for awhile, but she took off from there and then the residential facility put her in juvenile detention because she took a phone and various other things when she broke out of there. Last fall however she ran away and moved across country. She now calls us as she's come to realize we are the only people ever really cared about her....and she has a job, a place to live, and food to eat and that's probably the best that I can hope for. </p><p></p><p>It's hard to write and say that as her sister is a brilliant professional, and both my husband and I are professionals. She was always difficult as a child, but once puberty hit it's like she completely lost her mind. I hope some day she will change but at this point, we're good with how things are now. I know that sounds pathetic, like we're the worst parents in the world, but I've left out the years of us taking her to doctors, psychiatrists, therapist, mental hospitals, special schools, teachers, tutors, the list goes on. We are STILL after almost three years still paying medical bills and legal bills due to her and all we went through. And I know this sounds horrible, but I'd rather pay the bills than have her in my house. Last time I saw her in person she jumped on me, beating me in the face while her foster father pulled her off of me. We took her for a visitation and she wanted me to take her to her boyfriend house and I refused as I only had approval to take her to eat and then back to her home. She calls me on the phone now, but only when she wants money. And I usually only answer about 50% of the time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Midwest, post: 727589, member: 17092"] I don't know about the laws in your state, but the way my daughter was finally removed from our home was when we wouldn't allow her into the house unless we inspected her purse. She was living with her Dad and he knew she had a weapon (large knife) and drugs, and he told her she would not be allowed into the home until she turned them over along with her phone. She of course would not, so we called the police. They told him to let her in the house and he refused without first getting the drugs, weapon, and phone. She would not. So, they called me to get her. I refused and said I would not come and get her unless she gave up her purse and turned over the weapon, drugs, and phone. So the police actually hung up on me, and told my husband they would prosecute him for locking her out of the house. He said "GO FOR IT". So she went to a temp foster home, CPS became involved, and we told them the story of the years of her abusing us and her refusal to take medication. We were threatened repeatedly by CPS and I provided written statements from a therapist and her psychiatrist that she was a danger to myself and my minor child. They still tried to get me to take her back and I refused until they could give ME a written statement by a psychiatrist that she was no longer a danger to us. Of course there's no way they could ever get that. After that I hired an attorney and that's the only way I finally got CPS off my ass. So, she remained in foster care for 2 years although she was put in residential for awhile, but she took off from there and then the residential facility put her in juvenile detention because she took a phone and various other things when she broke out of there. Last fall however she ran away and moved across country. She now calls us as she's come to realize we are the only people ever really cared about her....and she has a job, a place to live, and food to eat and that's probably the best that I can hope for. It's hard to write and say that as her sister is a brilliant professional, and both my husband and I are professionals. She was always difficult as a child, but once puberty hit it's like she completely lost her mind. I hope some day she will change but at this point, we're good with how things are now. I know that sounds pathetic, like we're the worst parents in the world, but I've left out the years of us taking her to doctors, psychiatrists, therapist, mental hospitals, special schools, teachers, tutors, the list goes on. We are STILL after almost three years still paying medical bills and legal bills due to her and all we went through. And I know this sounds horrible, but I'd rather pay the bills than have her in my house. Last time I saw her in person she jumped on me, beating me in the face while her foster father pulled her off of me. We took her for a visitation and she wanted me to take her to her boyfriend house and I refused as I only had approval to take her to eat and then back to her home. She calls me on the phone now, but only when she wants money. And I usually only answer about 50% of the time. [/QUOTE]
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