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General Parenting
At wits end...what are my options?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 727615" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You do NOT sound pathetic!!!! You sound like an AMAZING parent to an incredibly difficult child! You still answer that phone sometimes when she calls for money. Not every time, as you know it can upset you and there are times that you just don't want to cope with all of it, but you do answer that phone sometimes. That is INCREDIBLE!! When you consider all the things she put you through, it is amazing you answer that phone at all! </p><p></p><p>I had a violent child who would abuse me (such a tame word, abuse, for all the he(( they put us through, isn't it?) and I know, truly <em>know, </em>how hard it is. I also know how hard it is to pay those bills when they didn't accomplish anything. Sometimes just writing a check for one of those bills could trigger a flashback for me. I really resented having to keep paying for "help" that didn't accomplish anything. I hope the bills are easier for you than they were for me.</p><p></p><p>A large part of me felt like a horrible parent for a lot of years, especially when my son's problems kept getting worse. Then my son went into a psychiatric hospital for a fairly long stay (12 weeks). I learned something there. Most parents of kids like ours are NOT involved with them. You took your daughter to all kinds of therapy. You did what you could to help her. Heck, you are here asking us how to help her. Many parents just don't care enough to do that. They just let the kid go and figure she will "grow out of it" or that it is "just a phase". You are one of the really great parents. She is lucky to have a mom like you. There are a lot of moms out there who wouldn't answer the phone after all she has done. You still do. That is actually quite a lot. Keep up your boundaries, don't tolerate any abuse from her. It is probably good that she went out into the world and got to see that most people would not tolerate her behavior. I am willing to bet she had to learn some hard life lessons, and still has some to learn. Let her learn them. </p><p></p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 727615, member: 1233"] You do NOT sound pathetic!!!! You sound like an AMAZING parent to an incredibly difficult child! You still answer that phone sometimes when she calls for money. Not every time, as you know it can upset you and there are times that you just don't want to cope with all of it, but you do answer that phone sometimes. That is INCREDIBLE!! When you consider all the things she put you through, it is amazing you answer that phone at all! I had a violent child who would abuse me (such a tame word, abuse, for all the he(( they put us through, isn't it?) and I know, truly [I]know, [/I]how hard it is. I also know how hard it is to pay those bills when they didn't accomplish anything. Sometimes just writing a check for one of those bills could trigger a flashback for me. I really resented having to keep paying for "help" that didn't accomplish anything. I hope the bills are easier for you than they were for me. A large part of me felt like a horrible parent for a lot of years, especially when my son's problems kept getting worse. Then my son went into a psychiatric hospital for a fairly long stay (12 weeks). I learned something there. Most parents of kids like ours are NOT involved with them. You took your daughter to all kinds of therapy. You did what you could to help her. Heck, you are here asking us how to help her. Many parents just don't care enough to do that. They just let the kid go and figure she will "grow out of it" or that it is "just a phase". You are one of the really great parents. She is lucky to have a mom like you. There are a lot of moms out there who wouldn't answer the phone after all she has done. You still do. That is actually quite a lot. Keep up your boundaries, don't tolerate any abuse from her. It is probably good that she went out into the world and got to see that most people would not tolerate her behavior. I am willing to bet she had to learn some hard life lessons, and still has some to learn. Let her learn them. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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At wits end...what are my options?
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