Welcome, FeelingBeat. I think most of the parents here have reached a breaking point. Probably multiple times. I think SWOT and Insane have done a terrific job of asking you questions.
I only want to add one small idea. The kids with the worst behaviors need your love the most. Everyone's love language is different. Ask yourself when your daughter is most relaxed spending time with you. Carve out time in your day to have that time with her.
