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Attachment issues...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 682343" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think Insane Canadian deserves a huge "BINGO!" here. That's one reason they don't tell prospective adoptive parents about this. But, IC, I think another is lack of knowledge about the disorder by mental health professionals. After all, many stepparents inherit children who had horrible attachment issues in their early years and even just divorce and many caregivers who did not nurture enough can cause it. It is a real dilemma for those who have had to deal with it, such as myself with Goneboy and my foster/adopted child who killed our dogs and molested my younger kids...his outward charm to adults and meanness in private to other children was very cleverly done by him and due to his having stellar psychiatric reports (yes he even fooled the psychiatrists who are MDs), we did not watch him as carefully as we should have. I will always feel guilt over this and may have done a better job of bonding with Goneboy if I had known how.</p><p>Forging an attachment is touchy and involves a lot of touching even if the child doesnt want it...but the "cures" are all in infancy as is the recognition of this disorder (not so much t hat nobody knew it existed, just t hat professionals are slow to be taught much about it and nobody knows for sure how to help an unattached child learn to attach so that he WANTS love and WANTS to behave). That is the key right t here.; Unattached kids/adults feel that nobody is trustworthy and that they owe nothing to anyone but themselves because only they care about themselves.They don't believe they are worthy of love and don't feel anyone else deserves their love due to early deprivation. Their brains actually warp. Everyone knows babies can die from lack of touch..."failture to thrive" babies. It hurts even more if the child had substances fed into them while they were still in the womb. </p><p></p><p>It is a terrible disorder and it really needs more research regarding diagnosing and treatment, especially if a psychologist or psychiatrist KNOWS that a patient had horrific and chaotic early years and no consistent, stable caregiver to nurture.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 682343, member: 1550"] I think Insane Canadian deserves a huge "BINGO!" here. That's one reason they don't tell prospective adoptive parents about this. But, IC, I think another is lack of knowledge about the disorder by mental health professionals. After all, many stepparents inherit children who had horrible attachment issues in their early years and even just divorce and many caregivers who did not nurture enough can cause it. It is a real dilemma for those who have had to deal with it, such as myself with Goneboy and my foster/adopted child who killed our dogs and molested my younger kids...his outward charm to adults and meanness in private to other children was very cleverly done by him and due to his having stellar psychiatric reports (yes he even fooled the psychiatrists who are MDs), we did not watch him as carefully as we should have. I will always feel guilt over this and may have done a better job of bonding with Goneboy if I had known how. Forging an attachment is touchy and involves a lot of touching even if the child doesnt want it...but the "cures" are all in infancy as is the recognition of this disorder (not so much t hat nobody knew it existed, just t hat professionals are slow to be taught much about it and nobody knows for sure how to help an unattached child learn to attach so that he WANTS love and WANTS to behave). That is the key right t here.; Unattached kids/adults feel that nobody is trustworthy and that they owe nothing to anyone but themselves because only they care about themselves.They don't believe they are worthy of love and don't feel anyone else deserves their love due to early deprivation. Their brains actually warp. Everyone knows babies can die from lack of touch..."failture to thrive" babies. It hurts even more if the child had substances fed into them while they were still in the womb. It is a terrible disorder and it really needs more research regarding diagnosing and treatment, especially if a psychologist or psychiatrist KNOWS that a patient had horrific and chaotic early years and no consistent, stable caregiver to nurture. [/QUOTE]
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