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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 326010" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well this makes a little more sense now. They are doing/have done the same thing with my son in Department of Juvenile Justice. It isn't anything personal against the parent or the relationship- they really should have explained this to you. It's to get the difficult child to not just confide in the one parent, then present a different face to others- because that 1) makes it impossible for them to help him, 2) makes for a very dysfunctional and unhealthy life for the difficult child trying to become independent- as in- an adult, 3) keeps the difficult child from being honest with himself.</p><p></p><p>At least that is the way I see it with my son.</p><p></p><p>You didn't say what the specific issue was that they brought up so I have no idea why M wouldn't discuss it. With my son, some things are too painful for him to discuss with a therapist, some are too embaressing for him to handle in group, some are too hard for him to discuss with me. He proposed (maybe from a suggestion by his therapist) that he write me about the things he has trouble discussing with me. I told him I thought that was a great idea. With him, it usually has something to do with being angry with me, being able to come back home, or something else that causes one of us to tense up or become emotional. I actually luike covering these topics thru letters better because I can think before responding and difficult child doesn't automatically see a hurt or tense look come across my face.</p><p></p><p>You might try suggesting that M is welcome to write you about any topic that is hard for him to discuss over the phone.</p><p></p><p>This sounds doable to me now, Steely- as far as M having a better chance in this Residential Treatment Center (RTC).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 326010, member: 3699"] Well this makes a little more sense now. They are doing/have done the same thing with my son in Department of Juvenile Justice. It isn't anything personal against the parent or the relationship- they really should have explained this to you. It's to get the difficult child to not just confide in the one parent, then present a different face to others- because that 1) makes it impossible for them to help him, 2) makes for a very dysfunctional and unhealthy life for the difficult child trying to become independent- as in- an adult, 3) keeps the difficult child from being honest with himself. At least that is the way I see it with my son. You didn't say what the specific issue was that they brought up so I have no idea why M wouldn't discuss it. With my son, some things are too painful for him to discuss with a therapist, some are too embaressing for him to handle in group, some are too hard for him to discuss with me. He proposed (maybe from a suggestion by his therapist) that he write me about the things he has trouble discussing with me. I told him I thought that was a great idea. With him, it usually has something to do with being angry with me, being able to come back home, or something else that causes one of us to tense up or become emotional. I actually luike covering these topics thru letters better because I can think before responding and difficult child doesn't automatically see a hurt or tense look come across my face. You might try suggesting that M is welcome to write you about any topic that is hard for him to discuss over the phone. This sounds doable to me now, Steely- as far as M having a better chance in this Residential Treatment Center (RTC). [/QUOTE]
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