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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 326881" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Maybe ----this is the exercise in which they teach him that NO MATTER HOW little communication he has with you -YOU WILL still be there. It is possible that the one that he could fear loosing is you. So if they take it from that perspective, and break the communication - and allow him to mature without you, but show him that it's okay, you're not leaving, you are STILL going to be there, and he'll be okay - he'll mature on normal levels like a 19 year old should. </p><p></p><p>Our kids are different - but THEY don't want to be. We forget that, and we treat them like they are in a bubble, special, un-normal, and at times I think we make them very angry because we try so hard to protect them instead of letting them just BE. Just get their feet wet. Just run with the other people their age. Experience life. Instead we tend to still be the parent that protects and smothers, and has a hard time letting go. It's what we have done....and now all of a sudden other people are there going "Let go." </p><p></p><p>I've struggled with this too in the last couple of years, it's not easy - but you have to find a place where you can put the Mommy in you aside and ALLOW Matt to become a man, make his own choices right or wrong, and be independent without you there to fix stuff. Not saying - you quit being his Mom. I guess how someone told me - you just stop being fixing Mommy - and your roll now is to mature and be a listening Mom. (I didn't like it when I heard it either, but it was true) </p><p></p><p>As far as this place? Let them have this chance Steely - they seem to be trying awfully hard to help Matt be the best person he can become. In the mean time? You use your time to do the same. That way when he's done and you get back together? It will really be a nice family reunion. </p><p></p><p>Or as good as it can be.....Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 326881, member: 4964"] Maybe ----this is the exercise in which they teach him that NO MATTER HOW little communication he has with you -YOU WILL still be there. It is possible that the one that he could fear loosing is you. So if they take it from that perspective, and break the communication - and allow him to mature without you, but show him that it's okay, you're not leaving, you are STILL going to be there, and he'll be okay - he'll mature on normal levels like a 19 year old should. Our kids are different - but THEY don't want to be. We forget that, and we treat them like they are in a bubble, special, un-normal, and at times I think we make them very angry because we try so hard to protect them instead of letting them just BE. Just get their feet wet. Just run with the other people their age. Experience life. Instead we tend to still be the parent that protects and smothers, and has a hard time letting go. It's what we have done....and now all of a sudden other people are there going "Let go." I've struggled with this too in the last couple of years, it's not easy - but you have to find a place where you can put the Mommy in you aside and ALLOW Matt to become a man, make his own choices right or wrong, and be independent without you there to fix stuff. Not saying - you quit being his Mom. I guess how someone told me - you just stop being fixing Mommy - and your roll now is to mature and be a listening Mom. (I didn't like it when I heard it either, but it was true) As far as this place? Let them have this chance Steely - they seem to be trying awfully hard to help Matt be the best person he can become. In the mean time? You use your time to do the same. That way when he's done and you get back together? It will really be a nice family reunion. Or as good as it can be.....Know what I mean?? Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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