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Attention Seeking.....Cutting
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 9308" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>My two middle kids have been cutters. None of it was attention-seeking, none of it was due to drugs. I think for them it also connects to Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues related to the Asperger's, plus associated depression. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was the worst. She would cut, so she tells us now, because she had to know she could feel SOMETHING. She seemed to need to transfer intense emotional pain into physical pain, to reduce the effect. Since getting a boyfriend, she has not cut. She has now stopped wearing long sleeves in summer, no longer tries to hide the scars. She would use a knife and sometimes cut deep, but it was all in secret. I think she was doing it for a number of years but we could never get her to admit to it or talk about it, until first boyfriend came along.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 - he would cut when extremely depressed or upset, such as when he broke up with first girlfriend at 15. He didn't cut as deep, but he would carve initials or images into his hands and arms. He had dome similar things before girlfriend, but to a much lesser extent.</p><p></p><p>I think one of easy child 2/difficult child 2's cuts got infected - she has one particularly bad scar - but in general, cutting leaves an open wound. It's when a wound seals back over that you can really have big problems. An open wound needs to be dressed and I've found cutters will tend to their wounds, if only so the blood doesn't give them away. They'll make up excuses - "I scratched myself," "I was using my letter opener and it slipped," "I was chopping wood in the back yard and dropped the axe." My kids know how to dress wounds and how to prevent infection. If a cut gets infected, it increases the chances of being found out, so they are generally careful.</p><p></p><p>I was really concerned at some of easy child 2/difficult child 2's deep cuts on her forearms - along the forearm, too, very dangerous, but she was insistent that it wasn't a suicide attempt. But she said she did need to see blood, because then she knew that there would have to be pain, so she knew that her body should be feeling something. The sight of blood seemed to ease the emotional pain.</p><p></p><p>I think they also stopped as they got older and better able to deal with their emotions. easy child 2/difficult child 2 really hated school (not helped by a lousy school, but she was too scared of change to let me move her). She cut through most of her high school years. boyfriend # 1 coincided with the end of high school, also, so she cut until end of high school. I don't think that's coincidence. School was THAT bad, even though she was a well-behaved, high-achieving student.</p><p></p><p>Janet, I really appreciate your insight, as well as the alternative activities that can substitute. I'll share those with easy child 2/difficult child 2 & difficult child 1.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 9308, member: 1991"] My two middle kids have been cutters. None of it was attention-seeking, none of it was due to drugs. I think for them it also connects to Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) issues related to the Asperger's, plus associated depression. easy child 2/difficult child 2 was the worst. She would cut, so she tells us now, because she had to know she could feel SOMETHING. She seemed to need to transfer intense emotional pain into physical pain, to reduce the effect. Since getting a boyfriend, she has not cut. She has now stopped wearing long sleeves in summer, no longer tries to hide the scars. She would use a knife and sometimes cut deep, but it was all in secret. I think she was doing it for a number of years but we could never get her to admit to it or talk about it, until first boyfriend came along. difficult child 1 - he would cut when extremely depressed or upset, such as when he broke up with first girlfriend at 15. He didn't cut as deep, but he would carve initials or images into his hands and arms. He had dome similar things before girlfriend, but to a much lesser extent. I think one of easy child 2/difficult child 2's cuts got infected - she has one particularly bad scar - but in general, cutting leaves an open wound. It's when a wound seals back over that you can really have big problems. An open wound needs to be dressed and I've found cutters will tend to their wounds, if only so the blood doesn't give them away. They'll make up excuses - "I scratched myself," "I was using my letter opener and it slipped," "I was chopping wood in the back yard and dropped the axe." My kids know how to dress wounds and how to prevent infection. If a cut gets infected, it increases the chances of being found out, so they are generally careful. I was really concerned at some of easy child 2/difficult child 2's deep cuts on her forearms - along the forearm, too, very dangerous, but she was insistent that it wasn't a suicide attempt. But she said she did need to see blood, because then she knew that there would have to be pain, so she knew that her body should be feeling something. The sight of blood seemed to ease the emotional pain. I think they also stopped as they got older and better able to deal with their emotions. easy child 2/difficult child 2 really hated school (not helped by a lousy school, but she was too scared of change to let me move her). She cut through most of her high school years. boyfriend # 1 coincided with the end of high school, also, so she cut until end of high school. I don't think that's coincidence. School was THAT bad, even though she was a well-behaved, high-achieving student. Janet, I really appreciate your insight, as well as the alternative activities that can substitute. I'll share those with easy child 2/difficult child 2 & difficult child 1. Marg [/QUOTE]
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