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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 108335" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Janna,</p><p></p><p>I think the others have given you good advice. I really can't think of much to add at this point except some things that I've tried that seem to "calm" difficult child 2. </p><p></p><p>I agree that the head-banging is probably out of frustration. In difficult child 2's case, he throws violent tantrums when he is frustrated, angry, anxious, or doesn't get a perfect score on a school assignment or win when playing video games. Whenever he didn't win when playing a video game, he would have an extremely nasty "melt-down", complete with throwing and breaking objects, using every four letter word imaginable, and screaming on the top of his lungs.</p><p></p><p>In order to help calm difficult child 2 and enable him to have some control over his environment when at home, we removed all of his video games. We replaced the time he used to be allowed to play video games with movies that he enjoys - Curious George and Disney movies meant for much younger kids. After watching these movies, difficult child 2 is usually calm and in a good mood. I think these movies actually help him relax. As a result, there are less violent tantrums at home.</p><p></p><p>When I asked difficult child 2 recently if he missed playing video games, he said not any more. He said that he enjoys his movies much more. For Christmas, husband and I bought him a small DVD player that we can give him during his REWARD Time so he can watch movies in his room. (It is unfair to make the rest of the family watch Curious George!!!) </p><p></p><p>The point of me rambling is this - Is there some activity that seems to have a calming effect on Dylan? If so, maybe you could have him do this activity as a reward for good behavior. I'm sure if you take away his video games entirely, you'll have a difficult time at first. Hopefully, in time, he won't miss them.</p><p></p><p>Another thing that calms difficult child 2 is his monkey puppet. We've explained to him that he can only have his puppet during private time in his room. He knows, even if he doesn't understand why, that "monkey puppet" isn't socially acceptable, but it is ok to play with it when alone. Does Dylan have a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, etc.? If so, maybe it can be used to help calm him.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 2 is now receiving counseling at school to learn how to cope with frustration, anger, anxiety, disappointment, and not being perfect. He is also in a social skills group that meets after school once a week. Honestly, I think he needs more help in this area than our SD can provide. We had to fight to get these things in place for him. It took us four months before our IEP was in place. I think finding an advocate to help you with Dylan is a great idea. </p><p></p><p>Sorry you're going through all of this!!! WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 108335, member: 3388"] Janna, I think the others have given you good advice. I really can't think of much to add at this point except some things that I've tried that seem to "calm" difficult child 2. I agree that the head-banging is probably out of frustration. In difficult child 2's case, he throws violent tantrums when he is frustrated, angry, anxious, or doesn't get a perfect score on a school assignment or win when playing video games. Whenever he didn't win when playing a video game, he would have an extremely nasty "melt-down", complete with throwing and breaking objects, using every four letter word imaginable, and screaming on the top of his lungs. In order to help calm difficult child 2 and enable him to have some control over his environment when at home, we removed all of his video games. We replaced the time he used to be allowed to play video games with movies that he enjoys - Curious George and Disney movies meant for much younger kids. After watching these movies, difficult child 2 is usually calm and in a good mood. I think these movies actually help him relax. As a result, there are less violent tantrums at home. When I asked difficult child 2 recently if he missed playing video games, he said not any more. He said that he enjoys his movies much more. For Christmas, husband and I bought him a small DVD player that we can give him during his REWARD Time so he can watch movies in his room. (It is unfair to make the rest of the family watch Curious George!!!) The point of me rambling is this - Is there some activity that seems to have a calming effect on Dylan? If so, maybe you could have him do this activity as a reward for good behavior. I'm sure if you take away his video games entirely, you'll have a difficult time at first. Hopefully, in time, he won't miss them. Another thing that calms difficult child 2 is his monkey puppet. We've explained to him that he can only have his puppet during private time in his room. He knows, even if he doesn't understand why, that "monkey puppet" isn't socially acceptable, but it is ok to play with it when alone. Does Dylan have a favorite stuffed animal, blanket, etc.? If so, maybe it can be used to help calm him. difficult child 2 is now receiving counseling at school to learn how to cope with frustration, anger, anxiety, disappointment, and not being perfect. He is also in a social skills group that meets after school once a week. Honestly, I think he needs more help in this area than our SD can provide. We had to fight to get these things in place for him. It took us four months before our IEP was in place. I think finding an advocate to help you with Dylan is a great idea. Sorry you're going through all of this!!! WFEN [/QUOTE]
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