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<blockquote data-quote="Mirabelle" data-source="post: 762054" data-attributes="member: 28712"><p>Thank you all for your helpful words and suggestion to join Nar Anon. I will certainly look into that. My primary motivation in considering the sober only visit rule is to try and get my stepson to hit his rock bottom sooner rather than later. Just the idea that with zero support, he might get it together. My husband doesn't want to see his son when he is delusional or high; it is very upsetting and anxiety inducing. He does feel obligated at this point however and sucks it up about once a week. He is maintaining that contact primarily to keep tabs on his progress with getting things done to help him move forward. Our son is not availing himself of any of the help available to him through the homeless shelter. This is a 30 day program and he has already been there for two weeks, lying to us about filling out housing forms and paperwork for their job program. The ACT program needs to be constantly prodded and followed up with to fulfill their obligations also. If my husband doesn't force these issues, his son could end up literally on the street in two weeks and expecting us to solve the problem for him.</p><p></p><p>I was hopeful that if my husband decided to ghost him for a week or two, he might realize that he is responsible for his own life and where he ends up. As I described in my very first post, we are treated as paid wait staff by my stepson. His dad is having health problems with his digestive system, his liver, and his blood pressure, all brought on by three years of this bs, and his son could not care less. I am heartbroken to see my stepson become this person, and to see the heartbreak, disappointment, and shame my husband carries with him everywhere he goes. I am ready for my stepson to take responsibility and leave us the hell alone quite frankly.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mirabelle, post: 762054, member: 28712"] Thank you all for your helpful words and suggestion to join Nar Anon. I will certainly look into that. My primary motivation in considering the sober only visit rule is to try and get my stepson to hit his rock bottom sooner rather than later. Just the idea that with zero support, he might get it together. My husband doesn't want to see his son when he is delusional or high; it is very upsetting and anxiety inducing. He does feel obligated at this point however and sucks it up about once a week. He is maintaining that contact primarily to keep tabs on his progress with getting things done to help him move forward. Our son is not availing himself of any of the help available to him through the homeless shelter. This is a 30 day program and he has already been there for two weeks, lying to us about filling out housing forms and paperwork for their job program. The ACT program needs to be constantly prodded and followed up with to fulfill their obligations also. If my husband doesn't force these issues, his son could end up literally on the street in two weeks and expecting us to solve the problem for him. I was hopeful that if my husband decided to ghost him for a week or two, he might realize that he is responsible for his own life and where he ends up. As I described in my very first post, we are treated as paid wait staff by my stepson. His dad is having health problems with his digestive system, his liver, and his blood pressure, all brought on by three years of this bs, and his son could not care less. I am heartbroken to see my stepson become this person, and to see the heartbreak, disappointment, and shame my husband carries with him everywhere he goes. I am ready for my stepson to take responsibility and leave us the hell alone quite frankly. [/QUOTE]
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