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Back in the difficult child days
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<blockquote data-quote="Josie" data-source="post: 399615" data-attributes="member: 1792"><p>Here is a little background for those that don't know her story. A was a difficult child from the time she was about 3 until she was 10. Her diagnosis was ODD and Depression. </p><p></p><p>We tried her on Lexapro which worked at first, but kept needing to be increased. We were looking at adding Seroquel to help her control her violent tendencies.</p><p></p><p>Then, we discovered she had gluten intolerance. When we eliminated that and milk, she turned into a regular kid. We could discipline her like the books say we should and she responded like they say she would. We were able to take her off all medications and she was mostly fine. She had episodes here and there where I was pretty sure she had eaten something she shouldn't, but she got back on her diet and was again fine. A joy to be around, in fact.</p><p></p><p>Until now. She has clearly been off her diet for a while and has that whole ODD thing going on again. I have found food in her room that she brought in.</p><p></p><p>During the break, we set up some expectations that would need to be met daily by her. Bringing her dirty dishes down, keeping her clothes off the floor and in her room, getting up on time. Hardly demanding. Those have been the rules all along, but we were going to get serious about consequences. Meaning, if she did those things, she could have her phone and computer the next day. We also said she needed to give us her phone at night. This was to keep her from staying up too late and contributing to her problem getting up. We typed up the rules and showed her and she threw it down and said it wasn't going to happen. We have done this in the past and she accepted it, but the new ODD A is not going to.</p><p></p><p>She's been up in her room ever since, except to go to school. I am not even sure what she is eating. Either she is not eating or she is eating something she shouldn't which will only make this situation worse.</p><p></p><p>Even before we showed her the rules, she was staying up in her room and looking at me with hate in her eyes if I tried to talk to her. Even asking about her day brought that look to her face.</p><p></p><p>I feel like I am watching her spiral down and there is nothing I can do. We might consider medicine if this goes on too long, but I'm not sure a psychiatrist would just give a defiant teen medications. And if they did, I am not convinced they would work, since her problem is a food intolerance. We all know it is not an easy path to get the right medication anyway.</p><p></p><p>My biggest concern is that even taking all of her privileges doesn't phase her. I think she cares, but she is so determined to win that she isn't giving in. She even looks bad to me. She's still showering and wearing makeup but her whole expression is just different.</p><p></p><p>We are taking her to family therapy on Monday, more as a consequence than anything else. Since she is choosing to be mentally ill (by getting off her diet), she has to go to therapy. I don't really expect it to help because nothing helped before until she got on that diet.</p><p></p><p>She just turned 15. </p><p></p><p>So, the classic question, what do you do with a defiant child?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Josie, post: 399615, member: 1792"] Here is a little background for those that don't know her story. A was a difficult child from the time she was about 3 until she was 10. Her diagnosis was ODD and Depression. We tried her on Lexapro which worked at first, but kept needing to be increased. We were looking at adding Seroquel to help her control her violent tendencies. Then, we discovered she had gluten intolerance. When we eliminated that and milk, she turned into a regular kid. We could discipline her like the books say we should and she responded like they say she would. We were able to take her off all medications and she was mostly fine. She had episodes here and there where I was pretty sure she had eaten something she shouldn't, but she got back on her diet and was again fine. A joy to be around, in fact. Until now. She has clearly been off her diet for a while and has that whole ODD thing going on again. I have found food in her room that she brought in. During the break, we set up some expectations that would need to be met daily by her. Bringing her dirty dishes down, keeping her clothes off the floor and in her room, getting up on time. Hardly demanding. Those have been the rules all along, but we were going to get serious about consequences. Meaning, if she did those things, she could have her phone and computer the next day. We also said she needed to give us her phone at night. This was to keep her from staying up too late and contributing to her problem getting up. We typed up the rules and showed her and she threw it down and said it wasn't going to happen. We have done this in the past and she accepted it, but the new ODD A is not going to. She's been up in her room ever since, except to go to school. I am not even sure what she is eating. Either she is not eating or she is eating something she shouldn't which will only make this situation worse. Even before we showed her the rules, she was staying up in her room and looking at me with hate in her eyes if I tried to talk to her. Even asking about her day brought that look to her face. I feel like I am watching her spiral down and there is nothing I can do. We might consider medicine if this goes on too long, but I'm not sure a psychiatrist would just give a defiant teen medications. And if they did, I am not convinced they would work, since her problem is a food intolerance. We all know it is not an easy path to get the right medication anyway. My biggest concern is that even taking all of her privileges doesn't phase her. I think she cares, but she is so determined to win that she isn't giving in. She even looks bad to me. She's still showering and wearing makeup but her whole expression is just different. We are taking her to family therapy on Monday, more as a consequence than anything else. Since she is choosing to be mentally ill (by getting off her diet), she has to go to therapy. I don't really expect it to help because nothing helped before until she got on that diet. She just turned 15. So, the classic question, what do you do with a defiant child? [/QUOTE]
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