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Failure to Thrive
Back on the merry-go-round
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760284" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi again.</p><p></p><p>We, after ten years, won't talk to Kay unless 1) she talks respectfully. No name-calling or toxic blame allowed. She has had her ten years of bile at us that we have heard. No more. 2) The call can not be asking for money or for us to fix her. We spent more on her than my other kids by a longshot and dipped into our retirement. We also bought her a house, a mobile home, cars, paid rent etc. The bank is closed. Forever. If she wants to chat in a friendly way we are fine. But she's never up for friendly chat. Our stipulations are non negotiable. We won't be abused anymore.</p><p></p><p>Now in no way do you need to come down on your kids like we did. But you can limit phone calls too...with boundaries, calling times like no calls after 8 or before 9. and you don't have to answer calls or read texts if you are not in the mood. It's your phone, your time, you matter. Do only what you can stand doing if this idea resonates with you.</p><p></p><p>Distance is phone and social media distance too. Nasty calls can knock you right down again. Adults can choose to be nice. Or not. I can choose not to listen to Kay if she is still rude.</p><p></p><p>But that is a choice. There is no eight or wrong really. Whatever works.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760284, member: 23706"] Hi again. We, after ten years, won't talk to Kay unless 1) she talks respectfully. No name-calling or toxic blame allowed. She has had her ten years of bile at us that we have heard. No more. 2) The call can not be asking for money or for us to fix her. We spent more on her than my other kids by a longshot and dipped into our retirement. We also bought her a house, a mobile home, cars, paid rent etc. The bank is closed. Forever. If she wants to chat in a friendly way we are fine. But she's never up for friendly chat. Our stipulations are non negotiable. We won't be abused anymore. Now in no way do you need to come down on your kids like we did. But you can limit phone calls too...with boundaries, calling times like no calls after 8 or before 9. and you don't have to answer calls or read texts if you are not in the mood. It's your phone, your time, you matter. Do only what you can stand doing if this idea resonates with you. Distance is phone and social media distance too. Nasty calls can knock you right down again. Adults can choose to be nice. Or not. I can choose not to listen to Kay if she is still rude. But that is a choice. There is no eight or wrong really. Whatever works. [/QUOTE]
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Back on the merry-go-round
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