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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 584162" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh boy JKF, do I know exactly how you feel right now. There were times with my difficult child, over the years where I didn't think my heart could bear it. Just remember this, he isn't experiencing this the way that you are.........you're feeling this with your mother's broken heart, the one which wants to protect and nurture. He is experiencing it as a young, virile adult male who is likely enjoying the nap and your care for now, but in the next moment, when he is in the shelter, he will be in that moment. They live in the moment and deal with life that way. We are the ones who look at the past, remember the child, worry about the future, not them. So, rest in the knowledge that he is not you, he is not experiencing this the way that you are. </p><p></p><p>You are close to him now, as time goes by, you and he will figure out a way to connect that works for YOU...........you will forge a new connection which utilizes your new detachment skills. Let's hope as that evolves, he will learn to take care of himself in a better way. He is now in your town so you have easier accessibility to assist him when that is right for you to do. You had a long enough break to recall your healthier days and find some detachment, that is great. Now you are in another new zone where you will practice your detachment while he's near you. You can do this. You've done a great job for a lot of months.............just put one foot in front of the other and drop him off. Hang in there. I know how hard it is, I really do..............I'm right there with you, as many of us here are..............(HUGS).......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 584162, member: 13542"] Oh boy JKF, do I know exactly how you feel right now. There were times with my difficult child, over the years where I didn't think my heart could bear it. Just remember this, he isn't experiencing this the way that you are.........you're feeling this with your mother's broken heart, the one which wants to protect and nurture. He is experiencing it as a young, virile adult male who is likely enjoying the nap and your care for now, but in the next moment, when he is in the shelter, he will be in that moment. They live in the moment and deal with life that way. We are the ones who look at the past, remember the child, worry about the future, not them. So, rest in the knowledge that he is not you, he is not experiencing this the way that you are. You are close to him now, as time goes by, you and he will figure out a way to connect that works for YOU...........you will forge a new connection which utilizes your new detachment skills. Let's hope as that evolves, he will learn to take care of himself in a better way. He is now in your town so you have easier accessibility to assist him when that is right for you to do. You had a long enough break to recall your healthier days and find some detachment, that is great. Now you are in another new zone where you will practice your detachment while he's near you. You can do this. You've done a great job for a lot of months.............just put one foot in front of the other and drop him off. Hang in there. I know how hard it is, I really do..............I'm right there with you, as many of us here are..............(HUGS)....... [/QUOTE]
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