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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 749729" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>It's a funny thing that our loved ones with "issues" are not on the same timeline or plan schedule that we have in mind for their recovery. As mentioned before I've been divorced for almost 2 years from my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs. I ran the entire circus jumping through hoops, juggling and riding the roller coaster (only left to be feeling like the clown in the end...LOL but not really) to try to get him sober to no avail. In fact, I learned yesterday that he just got out of detox again. This is his pattern and since he's not a young alcoholic and has been doing this to his body for years and years, he usually can only drink for a few weeks and ends up in the hospital because his body can't take it anymore. The funny thing is that it still pains me when I hear that he's not gotten "it" yet. I wanted sobriety so badly for him and still do. It is so hard for us to try to let them figure this out for themselves because we see the destruction it leaves behind. I know that most of the time I spent worrying where he was and if he was driving drunk, was he hurt, did he fall and bump his head and is unconscious, that it robbed me of time and energy and what did it change? Not a thing..not a darn thing. I learned in Al anon that "I am powerless over his drinking" and the best thing I can do for myself is turn him over to God. After all, it's only my illusion to think I'm charge and can change him or protect him from this devistating disease.. It is very, very tough trying to not worry. I do hope you at least hear from your son so that you know he's "OK" and can leave town at least with that knowledge and peace of mind.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 749729, member: 23405"] It's a funny thing that our loved ones with "issues" are not on the same timeline or plan schedule that we have in mind for their recovery. As mentioned before I've been divorced for almost 2 years from my alcoholic husband of 30 yrs. I ran the entire circus jumping through hoops, juggling and riding the roller coaster (only left to be feeling like the clown in the end...LOL but not really) to try to get him sober to no avail. In fact, I learned yesterday that he just got out of detox again. This is his pattern and since he's not a young alcoholic and has been doing this to his body for years and years, he usually can only drink for a few weeks and ends up in the hospital because his body can't take it anymore. The funny thing is that it still pains me when I hear that he's not gotten "it" yet. I wanted sobriety so badly for him and still do. It is so hard for us to try to let them figure this out for themselves because we see the destruction it leaves behind. I know that most of the time I spent worrying where he was and if he was driving drunk, was he hurt, did he fall and bump his head and is unconscious, that it robbed me of time and energy and what did it change? Not a thing..not a darn thing. I learned in Al anon that "I am powerless over his drinking" and the best thing I can do for myself is turn him over to God. After all, it's only my illusion to think I'm charge and can change him or protect him from this devistating disease.. It is very, very tough trying to not worry. I do hope you at least hear from your son so that you know he's "OK" and can leave town at least with that knowledge and peace of mind. [/QUOTE]
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