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Back To The Same Old Stuff From difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Bunny" data-source="post: 572219"><p>Sorry that I'm just getting back here now. We had company yesterday afternoon and I never got back on the computer.</p><p></p><p>Do I think that this is how he really feels? I was talking to husband about this yesterday and I honestly don't think that he really feels that way on a normal day at a calm moment. What I think it going on is that he gets angry about something (in this case, easy child not wanting to play with him) and he uses "no one loves me" as a reason for throwing the fit because I think in that moment he can't really tell me WHY he's angry, so he says the easiest thing that there is for him to say. Does that make any sense?</p><p></p><p>After he calmed down I told him that I understand that he was angry because easy child didn't want to play with him at that moment and that he is entitled to whatever feeling he is feeling at the moment, but he also has to listen to what the other people are saying to him. easy child didn't say he didn't want to play with him, period, which could be something that is hurtful to hear and I can understand why he might feel that easy child doesn't love him. He said he didn't want to play with him <em>right now</em>, which is a totally different statement.</p><p></p><p>He was actually great the rest of the weekend. I had husband talk to him about the Microsoft points, and what he told his dad was different than what he told me. He told me that he thinks we should let him get point whenever he wants them. Period. What he told his dad, probably because he was in a much calmer state of mind at that moment, was he doesn't like how we've set up the "once a month" rule. When he buys point, let's just say on the 15th of December, that he has to wait to until the 15th of January to get points again. He thinks that it would be fairer if the "once a month" was set up differently. If he gets point on January 1, he has to wait until February 1. If he waits to buy points until later in January, like the 20th, he feels that he should be able to get points on February 1, but then get no more until March since it's still once a month. husband agreed with him that that does work since it is still the "once a month" rule that we put into place, but it just seems to work better in difficult child's mind. So, that situation was solved quite easily.</p><p></p><p>I called a friend of mine to get the name and number of her brother. He works with kids like this and I told her that I was seeking a second opinion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bunny, post: 572219"] Sorry that I'm just getting back here now. We had company yesterday afternoon and I never got back on the computer. Do I think that this is how he really feels? I was talking to husband about this yesterday and I honestly don't think that he really feels that way on a normal day at a calm moment. What I think it going on is that he gets angry about something (in this case, easy child not wanting to play with him) and he uses "no one loves me" as a reason for throwing the fit because I think in that moment he can't really tell me WHY he's angry, so he says the easiest thing that there is for him to say. Does that make any sense? After he calmed down I told him that I understand that he was angry because easy child didn't want to play with him at that moment and that he is entitled to whatever feeling he is feeling at the moment, but he also has to listen to what the other people are saying to him. easy child didn't say he didn't want to play with him, period, which could be something that is hurtful to hear and I can understand why he might feel that easy child doesn't love him. He said he didn't want to play with him [I]right now[/I], which is a totally different statement. He was actually great the rest of the weekend. I had husband talk to him about the Microsoft points, and what he told his dad was different than what he told me. He told me that he thinks we should let him get point whenever he wants them. Period. What he told his dad, probably because he was in a much calmer state of mind at that moment, was he doesn't like how we've set up the "once a month" rule. When he buys point, let's just say on the 15th of December, that he has to wait to until the 15th of January to get points again. He thinks that it would be fairer if the "once a month" was set up differently. If he gets point on January 1, he has to wait until February 1. If he waits to buy points until later in January, like the 20th, he feels that he should be able to get points on February 1, but then get no more until March since it's still once a month. husband agreed with him that that does work since it is still the "once a month" rule that we put into place, but it just seems to work better in difficult child's mind. So, that situation was solved quite easily. I called a friend of mine to get the name and number of her brother. He works with kids like this and I told her that I was seeking a second opinion. [/QUOTE]
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