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Back To The Same Old Stuff From difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 572238"><p>Here's my take: He really doesn't "feel" loved when things don't go the way he thinks it should. He also doesn't know how to identify feelings AND vocalize them. Not now and later are mean the same thing as no. He had time to put what he wanted to say about the points in the "right" wording when he was calm. In a rage, words come tumbling out but aren't worded the way he wants.</p><p></p><p>These are all issues difficult child 1 struggles with. I had to stop using vague words and give definite times. Later and not now were not concepts he could comprehend. difficult child 1 also struggles with identifying feelings. He has progressed from only "identifying" happy, sad, angry (EVERY feeling he had was one of those 3) to include frustrated, scared and nervous. He's still not stating them accurately 100% but it's better than it was.</p><p></p><p>I am sooooo glad you're looking for a second opinion. Scenarios like this are ones that should be documented including before, during, and after behavior and words. You picked up on a key point in his thinking error. His idea of once a month was different than what you and husband were thinking. He was thinking literally "once a month" where you and husband were thinking "every 30 days". both are correct but not specific enough for difficult child to understand. This is the type of thinking error that is VERY common for difficult child 1. That's why Ross Greene's book was so helpful. If I hadn't tried using his methods, I would have never known that difficult child 1 thought soooo differently than I did and that's when his spectrum stuff started making sense to ME.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 572238"] Here's my take: He really doesn't "feel" loved when things don't go the way he thinks it should. He also doesn't know how to identify feelings AND vocalize them. Not now and later are mean the same thing as no. He had time to put what he wanted to say about the points in the "right" wording when he was calm. In a rage, words come tumbling out but aren't worded the way he wants. These are all issues difficult child 1 struggles with. I had to stop using vague words and give definite times. Later and not now were not concepts he could comprehend. difficult child 1 also struggles with identifying feelings. He has progressed from only "identifying" happy, sad, angry (EVERY feeling he had was one of those 3) to include frustrated, scared and nervous. He's still not stating them accurately 100% but it's better than it was. I am sooooo glad you're looking for a second opinion. Scenarios like this are ones that should be documented including before, during, and after behavior and words. You picked up on a key point in his thinking error. His idea of once a month was different than what you and husband were thinking. He was thinking literally "once a month" where you and husband were thinking "every 30 days". both are correct but not specific enough for difficult child to understand. This is the type of thinking error that is VERY common for difficult child 1. That's why Ross Greene's book was so helpful. If I hadn't tried using his methods, I would have never known that difficult child 1 thought soooo differently than I did and that's when his spectrum stuff started making sense to ME. [/QUOTE]
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