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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 659285" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Lovemyson,</p><p></p><p>I find it encouraging that he allowed you folks to see the spoon. After all, he could have concealed his use for an extended time. It could have been accidentally left, but I do not think so. I have known addicts who concealed their use from families for years.</p><p></p><p>If I am correct, no matter what he says, he is depending upon you to set an immediate and absolute boundary. I support you and your husband in locking him out now. That is exactly what he needs: clarity and strength.</p><p></p><p>What are you going to do about the ride to return to treatment if he asks for this, sooner or later? And also think about how you will deal with phone calls, requests, contact with him as long as he does not return to treatment.</p><p></p><p>Lovemyson, he was not ready to leave treatment. This is better revealed sooner and not later. There is learning here, for him and for you and your husband.</p><p></p><p>You did not fail. He did not fail. He is an addict. This is what addicts do. Until they don't. I agree. You should not ever again take responsibility for his recovery, especially in your home.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 659285, member: 18958"] Hi Lovemyson, I find it encouraging that he allowed you folks to see the spoon. After all, he could have concealed his use for an extended time. It could have been accidentally left, but I do not think so. I have known addicts who concealed their use from families for years. If I am correct, no matter what he says, he is depending upon you to set an immediate and absolute boundary. I support you and your husband in locking him out now. That is exactly what he needs: clarity and strength. What are you going to do about the ride to return to treatment if he asks for this, sooner or later? And also think about how you will deal with phone calls, requests, contact with him as long as he does not return to treatment. Lovemyson, he was not ready to leave treatment. This is better revealed sooner and not later. There is learning here, for him and for you and your husband. You did not fail. He did not fail. He is an addict. This is what addicts do. Until they don't. I agree. You should not ever again take responsibility for his recovery, especially in your home. [/QUOTE]
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