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<blockquote data-quote="Liahona" data-source="post: 534402"><p>Thanks for all your replies. Yesterday there was another incident. This time at school with a 4th grade girl (at least it wasn't a kindergartner.) I know this doesn't work for all the kids on this board, but I'm going to drastically reduce the amount expected from him in all areas except safety. I can't have the expectation that he did a good job by not hitting her. difficult child 1 doesn't work that way. He needs the expectation of what is safe behavior and ANY deviation from it is noticed and corrected. If I don't do this his behavior nose dives as he is trying to find where the boundary is. I know he can have safe behavior. That he knows what it is and has done it in the past. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for the idea of going over what he should've done. We've gone over what to do in the house with his siblings. We have not gone over the scene of being out in public and what to do when he is escalating then. Plus, I wasn't there; it was husband. </p><p></p><p>We just need to hold on for 2 weeks.</p><p></p><p>husband isn't on board with the lower expectations. I talked to him last night about how my goal for the next 2 weeks is to not have to call the police on difficult child 1. I talked about not asking difficult child 1 to do stuff. husband agreed with me, but later started talking about how difficult child 1 could be doing so much more around the house. This could be interesting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Liahona, post: 534402"] Thanks for all your replies. Yesterday there was another incident. This time at school with a 4th grade girl (at least it wasn't a kindergartner.) I know this doesn't work for all the kids on this board, but I'm going to drastically reduce the amount expected from him in all areas except safety. I can't have the expectation that he did a good job by not hitting her. difficult child 1 doesn't work that way. He needs the expectation of what is safe behavior and ANY deviation from it is noticed and corrected. If I don't do this his behavior nose dives as he is trying to find where the boundary is. I know he can have safe behavior. That he knows what it is and has done it in the past. Thanks for the idea of going over what he should've done. We've gone over what to do in the house with his siblings. We have not gone over the scene of being out in public and what to do when he is escalating then. Plus, I wasn't there; it was husband. We just need to hold on for 2 weeks. husband isn't on board with the lower expectations. I talked to him last night about how my goal for the next 2 weeks is to not have to call the police on difficult child 1. I talked about not asking difficult child 1 to do stuff. husband agreed with me, but later started talking about how difficult child 1 could be doing so much more around the house. This could be interesting. [/QUOTE]
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