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Be yourself - a lesson in humorous form
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 253628" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p style="text-align: center"><u><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><strong>The </strong></span></span></span></u></p> <p style="text-align: center"><u><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 22px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><strong>Pastor's ***</strong></span></span></span></u><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> </strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> The pastor was so pleased with the donkey </strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong>That he entered it in the race again, and it won again.</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> The local paper read:</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> </strong></span></span></span><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong>PASTOR'S *** OUT FRONT.</strong></span></u></span></span><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.</strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong></strong></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><strong> The next day, the local paper headline read:</strong> </span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></p> <p style="text-align: center"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><strong><u>BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ***.</u></strong></span></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> This was too much for the bishop, so he </span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000">Ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:</span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u></u></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u></u></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u>NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN.</u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000">The bishop fainted.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, she sold it to a farmer for $10. </span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000">The next day the paper read:</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u>NUN SELLS *** FOR $10.</u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 26px"><span style="color: #000000">The next day the headlines read:</span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u></u></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #ff0000"><u>NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE.</u></span></span></span><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> The bishop was buried the next day.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> The moral of the story is .... </span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000">Being concerned about public opinion can bring</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000">You much grief and misery . . Even shorten your life.</span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"></span></span></span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: center"><strong><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: #000000"> So be yourself and enjoy life.</span></span></span></strong></p><p></p><p> </p><p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 253628, member: 4964"] [CENTER][U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=6][COLOR=#ff0000][B]The Pastor's ***[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] [FONT=Garamond][B] The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey That he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: [/B][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][SIZE=4][COLOR=#ff0000][U][FONT=Garamond][B]PASTOR'S *** OUT FRONT.[/B][/FONT][/U][/COLOR][U][/u][/SIZE][U][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] [FONT=Garamond][B] The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:[/B] [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#ff0000][B][U]BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ***.[/U][/B][/COLOR][B][U][/u][/b][/SIZE][B][U][/u][/b][/FONT][B][U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] This was too much for the bishop, so he Ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#ff0000][U] NUN HAS BEST *** IN TOWN.[/U][/COLOR][U][/u][/SIZE][U][/u][/FONT][U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#ff0000][U]NUN SELLS *** FOR $10.[/U][/COLOR][U][/u][/SIZE][U][/u][/FONT][U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=7][COLOR=#000000] The next day the headlines read:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#ff0000][U] NUN ANNOUNCES HER *** IS WILD AND FREE.[/U][/COLOR][U][/u][/SIZE][U][/u][/FONT][U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/U][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000] The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is .... Being concerned about public opinion can bring You much grief and misery . . Even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B][/CENTER] [B][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [B][FONT=Garamond][SIZE=4][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B] [/QUOTE]
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Be yourself - a lesson in humorous form
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