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Beating Myself Up in My Dreams ~ Good Lord What's Next?
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 575222" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>So, as everyone here knows, we have been walking that fine line between helping and rescuing. I knew the situation had been taking a toll, knew I was a little down, but last night? I was awakened multiple times by dreams of how worthless a person I am because:</p><p></p><p>1) I do not help the neighbors enough. (?!?) </p><p></p><p>2) I haven't rescued any dogs or cats lately. (This has to have come from all those "rescue this animal" things on Facebook. We already HAVE a dog and a cat ~ both rescues. </p><p></p><p>3) I am selfish, selfish, selfish, living my life as I do, and have done nothing to make the world a better place. </p><p></p><p>I think this has to do with daughter's situation, some jumbled feelings of somehow being responsible for it, and further jumbled feelings about what I ought to do about that. As jumbled as the dreams were, it's difficult to know what else was in there. I think there might have been something about my being short (!) and elderly, too. (I'm 61.) And I swear there must have been something about my hair too, because I am focusing on everyone's hair this morning. (Did anyone see the Inauguration? It was amazing, amazing. Brought tears to my eyes more than once. Michelle's hair didn't look so good, though. Joe Biden's wife, on the other hand, had her hair done beautifully. Beyonce', same thing. The President's hair also looked very nice ~ in fact, he looked very nice altogether, and handled himself well.)</p><p></p><p>Just for the record? My own hair looks terrible, this morning...and husband picked today to compliment me on it. Now, what to hay?!?</p><p></p><p>Well, anyway. This dreaming terrible things about myself stuff is a new one on me. It isn't like you can defend yourself in a dream, either. So, I am looking at it like I am fortunate to know what is going on in my subconscious.</p><p></p><p>I imagine I have been dreaming these kinds of things every night since all this started. </p><p></p><p>Has this happened to anyone else?</p><p></p><p>I am very sure these feelings are there because I am not pulling out all the stops to save daughter. (We are helping financially but not fixing. And we are not, for instance, going North to stay for the rest of the Winter so she will have somewhere to stay.) </p><p></p><p>She will be homeless as of Feb 1st. That is weighing so heavily on my mind. Maybe it will turn out that we will go back....</p><p></p><p>What a way to wake up!</p><p></p><p>Multiple times.</p><p></p><p>Cheesh.</p><p></p><p>How is everyone else sleeping?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 575222, member: 1721"] So, as everyone here knows, we have been walking that fine line between helping and rescuing. I knew the situation had been taking a toll, knew I was a little down, but last night? I was awakened multiple times by dreams of how worthless a person I am because: 1) I do not help the neighbors enough. (?!?) 2) I haven't rescued any dogs or cats lately. (This has to have come from all those "rescue this animal" things on Facebook. We already HAVE a dog and a cat ~ both rescues. 3) I am selfish, selfish, selfish, living my life as I do, and have done nothing to make the world a better place. I think this has to do with daughter's situation, some jumbled feelings of somehow being responsible for it, and further jumbled feelings about what I ought to do about that. As jumbled as the dreams were, it's difficult to know what else was in there. I think there might have been something about my being short (!) and elderly, too. (I'm 61.) And I swear there must have been something about my hair too, because I am focusing on everyone's hair this morning. (Did anyone see the Inauguration? It was amazing, amazing. Brought tears to my eyes more than once. Michelle's hair didn't look so good, though. Joe Biden's wife, on the other hand, had her hair done beautifully. Beyonce', same thing. The President's hair also looked very nice ~ in fact, he looked very nice altogether, and handled himself well.) Just for the record? My own hair looks terrible, this morning...and husband picked today to compliment me on it. Now, what to hay?!? Well, anyway. This dreaming terrible things about myself stuff is a new one on me. It isn't like you can defend yourself in a dream, either. So, I am looking at it like I am fortunate to know what is going on in my subconscious. I imagine I have been dreaming these kinds of things every night since all this started. Has this happened to anyone else? I am very sure these feelings are there because I am not pulling out all the stops to save daughter. (We are helping financially but not fixing. And we are not, for instance, going North to stay for the rest of the Winter so she will have somewhere to stay.) She will be homeless as of Feb 1st. That is weighing so heavily on my mind. Maybe it will turn out that we will go back.... What a way to wake up! Multiple times. Cheesh. How is everyone else sleeping? [/QUOTE]
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