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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 671508" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Thank you all. As always, this board gives me a lot to think about. </p><p> </p><p>I know I'm going to continue to give him rides home...until he moves closer that is. On Friday, I'm giving him a ride in - at FIVE a.m.! His manager put him opening Thurs, Fri. and Sat., and will give him a ride on Thursday and Saturday, but the manager doesn't open Friday. I told him this is the ONLY time I will do this and he <em>has</em> to tell the manager he <em>can't</em> open unless the manager will give him a ride because he has no way in. Everyone he lives with is still at work at 5. The bike trail he'd have to take to get across the bridge to town (it's illegal to ride on the bridge itself) is not lit and would be a nightmare to find and cross in the dark. So this ONE time, I will do this. I hate mornings.</p><p> </p><p>I've made my phone calls and gotten his information. He must now get the people to let him live there. There are 3 good options. Up to him to make a good impression and, hopefully, get them to overlook his unpaid electric bill (the girlfriend will put the power in her name). </p><p> </p><p>Will I go get the girl? </p><p> </p><p>Probably.</p><p> </p><p>I know, I know, I probably shouldn't. But for the first time I'm seeing a concrete plan. First, he gets a job. Second, the girl gets here and she can stay with him for up to a week where he is. Third, apartment of their own. (2 and 3 are kind of interchangeable, it's just that she can't sign a lease until she gets here.) Fourth, she gets job too (not difficult around here really). They'll have two incomes and the ability to pay for a cheap place, pay bills, buy necessities, do things right. </p><p> </p><p>They have the ability. Whether they do it is on them. But he has actually thought things through in a rather straightforward manner. While I'd like to see him save a couple paychecks - he's correct that between the two of them, they can swing the payment of deposits, etc., with his first and what she's got. Once he's in this town, the rides to work become no problem...there's a lot of hills, but nowhere in this town you can't get by bike and if you work between 7 and 5:30 there are (poorly run) city busses. Food is cheap at Aldi's and Save-A-Lot. Worse case scenario, there are food banks and Salvation Army if they're having problems and he knows where they are. He's not talking about buying new phones or video games - he's talking about food and bills. I'd like to see him actually try. Would I rather he did it alone for a few months? Yes. But maybe having someone depend on HIM instead of the other way around is what he needs...</p><p> </p><p>Much to think on.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 671508, member: 17309"] Thank you all. As always, this board gives me a lot to think about. I know I'm going to continue to give him rides home...until he moves closer that is. On Friday, I'm giving him a ride in - at FIVE a.m.! His manager put him opening Thurs, Fri. and Sat., and will give him a ride on Thursday and Saturday, but the manager doesn't open Friday. I told him this is the ONLY time I will do this and he [I]has[/I] to tell the manager he [I]can't[/I] open unless the manager will give him a ride because he has no way in. Everyone he lives with is still at work at 5. The bike trail he'd have to take to get across the bridge to town (it's illegal to ride on the bridge itself) is not lit and would be a nightmare to find and cross in the dark. So this ONE time, I will do this. I hate mornings. I've made my phone calls and gotten his information. He must now get the people to let him live there. There are 3 good options. Up to him to make a good impression and, hopefully, get them to overlook his unpaid electric bill (the girlfriend will put the power in her name). Will I go get the girl? Probably. I know, I know, I probably shouldn't. But for the first time I'm seeing a concrete plan. First, he gets a job. Second, the girl gets here and she can stay with him for up to a week where he is. Third, apartment of their own. (2 and 3 are kind of interchangeable, it's just that she can't sign a lease until she gets here.) Fourth, she gets job too (not difficult around here really). They'll have two incomes and the ability to pay for a cheap place, pay bills, buy necessities, do things right. They have the ability. Whether they do it is on them. But he has actually thought things through in a rather straightforward manner. While I'd like to see him save a couple paychecks - he's correct that between the two of them, they can swing the payment of deposits, etc., with his first and what she's got. Once he's in this town, the rides to work become no problem...there's a lot of hills, but nowhere in this town you can't get by bike and if you work between 7 and 5:30 there are (poorly run) city busses. Food is cheap at Aldi's and Save-A-Lot. Worse case scenario, there are food banks and Salvation Army if they're having problems and he knows where they are. He's not talking about buying new phones or video games - he's talking about food and bills. I'd like to see him actually try. Would I rather he did it alone for a few months? Yes. But maybe having someone depend on HIM instead of the other way around is what he needs... Much to think on. [/QUOTE]
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