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Parent Emeritus
Been Away For A While-An Update and Hopefully A Breakthrough
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 668145" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I enjoyed very much (yes enjoyed) reading of your journey and your wife's and now the two of you together. It is a triumph. I, too, endured the pain of being trashed as a parent. I lost many years feeling pain and anger, that my beloved child who I love above all else, would betray me. How stupid I was.</p><p></p><p>I too am learning the lessons you have so ably noted. And they are working for me, too. I am seeing subtle changes in my son and in our communication. My son is working, and living in a stable and healthy situation. He has become peripheral in my life, more suited to the adult that he is. Not as a central character. As it should be. I love him the same. But he is the center of his own life and I my SO and I in ours. I not only see the difference, I feel it. </p><p></p><p>I do have hope for my son. Because I see how quickly he responded when I changed. When I got out of his way. And no longer accepted responsibility for his part as well as my own. He stepped up. I believe no matter how old are our adult kids, they can change. Because they have to. At some point your son will realize that if he does not help himself, nobody else will. He will have to decide, himself, his own life story. That is what changes, I think. They come to feel the power and the responsibility in themselves.</p><p></p><p>Thank you very much for writing it all out for us. I benefited. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 668145, member: 18958"] I enjoyed very much (yes enjoyed) reading of your journey and your wife's and now the two of you together. It is a triumph. I, too, endured the pain of being trashed as a parent. I lost many years feeling pain and anger, that my beloved child who I love above all else, would betray me. How stupid I was. I too am learning the lessons you have so ably noted. And they are working for me, too. I am seeing subtle changes in my son and in our communication. My son is working, and living in a stable and healthy situation. He has become peripheral in my life, more suited to the adult that he is. Not as a central character. As it should be. I love him the same. But he is the center of his own life and I my SO and I in ours. I not only see the difference, I feel it. I do have hope for my son. Because I see how quickly he responded when I changed. When I got out of his way. And no longer accepted responsibility for his part as well as my own. He stepped up. I believe no matter how old are our adult kids, they can change. Because they have to. At some point your son will realize that if he does not help himself, nobody else will. He will have to decide, himself, his own life story. That is what changes, I think. They come to feel the power and the responsibility in themselves. Thank you very much for writing it all out for us. I benefited. Thank you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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Been Away For A While-An Update and Hopefully A Breakthrough
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