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Been saying "He'll grow out of it" for way too long. What is wrong with my son???
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<blockquote data-quote="isis" data-source="post: 566209" data-attributes="member: 15590"><p>Yes, read The Explosive Child. There is another good one that I can't remember the name of right now - the developing mind or something. I'll post it.</p><p>In the meantime, unfortunately, I know of no quick answers for cooling off behavior. I would recommend nurture nurture nurture. If I remember right from your original post you are already doing this. A lot of these kids have (or probably have) a deep sense of shame that acts as fuel to their behavior. Know that when he is acting out, he is feeling as bad as he is acting (you probably already know that). </p><p>Remember from your own experience that overstimulation should be avoided, so during the holiday season stay away from the typical kid things that are WAY overstimulating. </p><p>When he starts to go downhill, redirect by offering to read him a story. Make sure he is always fed (many of these kids lose it when they are hungry and never seem to know when they are hungry) and warm (many of these kids are also not great at temperature regulation so at 6 yrs they don't get to say they don't need a jacket). Give him a bath with lavendar, warm milk and a story at bedtime. Sing a song. Tell him over and over that you love him, and tell him right after he 'misbehaves'. It can be hard to scrap the dinner you were planning to make for one that is quicker because you end up spending time comforting him in whatever way works, but it ends up being worth it. It can be hard to feel like the family's life is on hold while you focus on him, but until you get more help its probably the only way to keep more peace.</p><p>If you already do all this, then maybe there is some comfort in being confirmed that you are doing the right things. Also, in knowing that it will get better as you get more help.</p><p></p><p>And THEN, make sure you are not totally depleted by scheduling what you need for yourself: exercise time, rest time, partner time, entertainment time. Whatever it is, you won't get it unless you prioritize and schedule it (none of us get enough, but anyway).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="isis, post: 566209, member: 15590"] Yes, read The Explosive Child. There is another good one that I can't remember the name of right now - the developing mind or something. I'll post it. In the meantime, unfortunately, I know of no quick answers for cooling off behavior. I would recommend nurture nurture nurture. If I remember right from your original post you are already doing this. A lot of these kids have (or probably have) a deep sense of shame that acts as fuel to their behavior. Know that when he is acting out, he is feeling as bad as he is acting (you probably already know that). Remember from your own experience that overstimulation should be avoided, so during the holiday season stay away from the typical kid things that are WAY overstimulating. When he starts to go downhill, redirect by offering to read him a story. Make sure he is always fed (many of these kids lose it when they are hungry and never seem to know when they are hungry) and warm (many of these kids are also not great at temperature regulation so at 6 yrs they don't get to say they don't need a jacket). Give him a bath with lavendar, warm milk and a story at bedtime. Sing a song. Tell him over and over that you love him, and tell him right after he 'misbehaves'. It can be hard to scrap the dinner you were planning to make for one that is quicker because you end up spending time comforting him in whatever way works, but it ends up being worth it. It can be hard to feel like the family's life is on hold while you focus on him, but until you get more help its probably the only way to keep more peace. If you already do all this, then maybe there is some comfort in being confirmed that you are doing the right things. Also, in knowing that it will get better as you get more help. And THEN, make sure you are not totally depleted by scheduling what you need for yourself: exercise time, rest time, partner time, entertainment time. Whatever it is, you won't get it unless you prioritize and schedule it (none of us get enough, but anyway). [/QUOTE]
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Been saying "He'll grow out of it" for way too long. What is wrong with my son???
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