Just a thought on the subject of bad dreams - I used to get night terrors as a kid. And since I have a memory like the proverbial elephant, I can still remember how it was handled (or not) and what worked (or didn't).
Having a bed light within reach was always what I desperately wanted. Some nights it wouldn't have helped as I was literally too terrified to move, for hours (I know, because I counted the chimes on the clock so I knew how much time was passing before I could dare move). But I was not permitted a lamp. I don't know why. Probably because all my sisters would have wanted one too.
As I got older, I realised that changing sleeping position changed the dream. If I was able to wake up enough to move around and roll over, that dream was gone. I taught myself to wake myself if I was having a bad dream (you program in the cues by repeating to yourself and rehearsing at bedtime what you will tell yourself in the dream, to make yourself wake up). Then I would roll over. This was when I had my own bed lamp, after I had left home (at 17).
So I'd worked out how to handle it with my kids - when they had a nightmare I would give them a cuddle then when I could feel their heart rate had returned to normal I'd send them back to bed but tell them to lie on the other side to how they'd been sleeping - "because that way, any bits of that bad dream that might be left will trickle out of that ear, now it's downwards." You tell the kid to change position so the ear that was facing up during the bad dream, is now facing down.
It sounds crazy, but it works. Because you've woken up enough to change position, all the stimuli that have been incorporated into that dream (your sleeping position, for example) have been changed. You may get ANOTHER bad dream, but it won't be the same one. And each bad dream - wake yourself up and roll over. The first bad dream won't come back, not even then.
I also encourage my kids to tell me their bad dreams, while they're still fresh. Telling helps take away the terror and it also helps me recognise any recurring themes indicative of an unresolved problem.
Marg
