The basket method is also explosive child method. There's a book you can buy on this website called "The Explosive Child". I bought it for my 12yo at the time, now 13 yo. It's a very good book and something I will try with him when he's released from Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Right now his behavior is at a level I cannot control and it's better for him to be at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). My difficult child rages like a 3 year old too.
I haven't tried charts with mine so I don't really have an opinion on them but I have tried leaving thank you notes on those yellow sticky papers. Usually I just thank him for doing a chore or being on time when he's leaving for school. Most of the time I wrote "Thanks for being such a great kid" or "I'm really glad you're my son". Of course this was when he was at home. He got the notes when he came home from school and sometimes he'd comment about them, sometimes not. He always read them. The other thing I've done with great success is brag about him to a friend or family member when he's within earshot. I act like he's not there and I sincerely tell my friend or mom how I'm proud of him for having a rage free week at home or school.
I have trouble with the reward side of it too. Our therapist asked me if I was enforcing consequence as well as reward and it dawned on me that I was so bent on getting him to accept the consequence I was paying no attention to rewards. Her suggestion was to get difficult child to name off a few rewards he would like & then I could hand those out as needed. Never had a chance to try that in our home but looking forward to it when he's released.
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I'm struggling through this too.
