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Parent Emeritus
,Being conned?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 487858" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Oh gosh we have been in that position of wondering which side of the story is true and realizing probably neither are. difficult child had many things stolen at her sober house. The director told us going in that she should not have anything valuable there and if she left and didn't take her things they would be divided up by the residents very quickly. The long time residents that were serious about sobriety were not the problem, it was the ones that came right from jail or those on the street that thought they wanted to get sober but really just wanted a place to stay warm for a few nights. They quickly stole what they could and left. If your difficult child left things at the house they probably were taken and the director woud have no idea if they were even there to begin with.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what to make of the grabbing by the hair and throwing up against the wall and like you said you probably never will. But there are many sober houses that are started not for the right reasons and not by people who are qualified to run them. You may have read about the craig lists murders this past month. A man who started and ran a halfway house for men near here solicited the help of a young teen and placed bogus ads on craigs list for work and when the men answered the ads they were robbed and killed. This really hit home for me because we don't know which sober houses are really good and which ones prey on people who are easy targets.</p><p></p><p>I like Sigs suggestion about sending him the clothes. I did that with difficult child for her work clothes for her job. She needed khaki pants and blue scrub tops so I bought them and sent them to her. When she needed a couple long sleeve scrubs I had her go to the store and I spoke with the cashier and had her put them on my charge and mail me the receipt.</p><p></p><p>I usually find that when difficult child tells me a story that is hard to believe it is just that, a "story" made up so that she doesn't have to face the truth. In fact I really think she believes some of the things she tells us.</p><p></p><p>In these kinds of instances husband or I usually have a conversation with difficult child about how we have no reason to believe she is telling us the truth and even if she is her irresponsibility is what caused her dilemma. Then we ask her what she is asking of us and we decide if we can help her and make it clear to her what we are willing to do and want we are not.</p><p></p><p>Hopefully you can get some advice from his sober house, I think it's a very good idea to stay in contact with them and build up a trust.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 487858, member: 59"] Oh gosh we have been in that position of wondering which side of the story is true and realizing probably neither are. difficult child had many things stolen at her sober house. The director told us going in that she should not have anything valuable there and if she left and didn't take her things they would be divided up by the residents very quickly. The long time residents that were serious about sobriety were not the problem, it was the ones that came right from jail or those on the street that thought they wanted to get sober but really just wanted a place to stay warm for a few nights. They quickly stole what they could and left. If your difficult child left things at the house they probably were taken and the director woud have no idea if they were even there to begin with. I don't know what to make of the grabbing by the hair and throwing up against the wall and like you said you probably never will. But there are many sober houses that are started not for the right reasons and not by people who are qualified to run them. You may have read about the craig lists murders this past month. A man who started and ran a halfway house for men near here solicited the help of a young teen and placed bogus ads on craigs list for work and when the men answered the ads they were robbed and killed. This really hit home for me because we don't know which sober houses are really good and which ones prey on people who are easy targets. I like Sigs suggestion about sending him the clothes. I did that with difficult child for her work clothes for her job. She needed khaki pants and blue scrub tops so I bought them and sent them to her. When she needed a couple long sleeve scrubs I had her go to the store and I spoke with the cashier and had her put them on my charge and mail me the receipt. I usually find that when difficult child tells me a story that is hard to believe it is just that, a "story" made up so that she doesn't have to face the truth. In fact I really think she believes some of the things she tells us. In these kinds of instances husband or I usually have a conversation with difficult child about how we have no reason to believe she is telling us the truth and even if she is her irresponsibility is what caused her dilemma. Then we ask her what she is asking of us and we decide if we can help her and make it clear to her what we are willing to do and want we are not. Hopefully you can get some advice from his sober house, I think it's a very good idea to stay in contact with them and build up a trust. Nancy [/QUOTE]
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