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Parent Emeritus
,Being conned?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 488328"><p>Thanks Kimno,</p><p></p><p>I did not get to this place overnight that is for sure. I am actually not upset or surprised really. I know he has an addiction problem and my hope is that he will get help for it... to me this may be just one more lesson for him that he is in fact an addict, because I think he questions that since he is not physically addicted to anything. The fact that htis happened and I did not get a phone call either from the place or from him is a good thing I think. It means they and him worked it out and came up that he should stay in the more restrictive program for another 2 weeks. That is a good decision but I am glad I was not part of the decision. He needs to find his way on his own and this is a step in that direction... and the fact that they didn't call me probably makes him trust them more. He is afterall an adult and as a legal right to his privacy. The fact that he told me is a good thing too. Of course I want details but i am not asking for them. And dI agree I want to do something for him for Xmas and not punish him but I also don't want to enable drug use.... so I can tell him that we will help him with clothes and stuff when he is ready but we are not going to give it to him now.</p><p></p><p>And thanks on your comments about our relationship and boundaries. I don't have the relationship with him that I want.... but I hope I will someday. I have worked very hard to back off on the control as he is now an adult and the control just gets in his way really. I do agree though I think he knows we love him and are there for him and I do believe that is really important.... but also that we will set limits on what we will do. We will no longer put up with mistreatment from him... and believe me we put up with too much for too long.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 488328"] Thanks Kimno, I did not get to this place overnight that is for sure. I am actually not upset or surprised really. I know he has an addiction problem and my hope is that he will get help for it... to me this may be just one more lesson for him that he is in fact an addict, because I think he questions that since he is not physically addicted to anything. The fact that htis happened and I did not get a phone call either from the place or from him is a good thing I think. It means they and him worked it out and came up that he should stay in the more restrictive program for another 2 weeks. That is a good decision but I am glad I was not part of the decision. He needs to find his way on his own and this is a step in that direction... and the fact that they didn't call me probably makes him trust them more. He is afterall an adult and as a legal right to his privacy. The fact that he told me is a good thing too. Of course I want details but i am not asking for them. And dI agree I want to do something for him for Xmas and not punish him but I also don't want to enable drug use.... so I can tell him that we will help him with clothes and stuff when he is ready but we are not going to give it to him now. And thanks on your comments about our relationship and boundaries. I don't have the relationship with him that I want.... but I hope I will someday. I have worked very hard to back off on the control as he is now an adult and the control just gets in his way really. I do agree though I think he knows we love him and are there for him and I do believe that is really important.... but also that we will set limits on what we will do. We will no longer put up with mistreatment from him... and believe me we put up with too much for too long. TL [/QUOTE]
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