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Parent Emeritus
Believing your kid (when you know they are lying)
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 393444" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>I've gone down the road of questioning my sanity and/or memory, too. difficult child 1 was (and is) so good at lying that I never felt certain of anything. Finally I just said to myself: he lies like he breathes,</p><p>so if his lips are moving, he's lying. Even if he's convinced himself of his lie and believes it, he's still lying. I stopped asking him IF he'd done something and just confronted him when things were</p><p>missing. </p><p></p><p>Strangely, difficult child 1 lies about many nonessential things, and appears to believe his lies. His girlfriend has become a little freaked out by this; she told me that their toilet had been leaking, and difficult child 1 talked to </p><p>husband about how to fix it, and then when he next talked to the landlord he told the guy that he'd fixed the toilet! Meanwhile, the toilet continues to leak. There are so many incidents like this, I just</p><p>shake my head and think, it's DENIAL - Doesn't Even (K)now It's A Lie. I can't account for it, didn't cause it, can't control it, and sure can't cure it. So I leave it alone and objectively check anything</p><p>he says, if I need the information. </p><p></p><p>But the main point - it is not you, it's your difficult child. Don't doubt yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 393444, member: 2884"] I've gone down the road of questioning my sanity and/or memory, too. difficult child 1 was (and is) so good at lying that I never felt certain of anything. Finally I just said to myself: he lies like he breathes, so if his lips are moving, he's lying. Even if he's convinced himself of his lie and believes it, he's still lying. I stopped asking him IF he'd done something and just confronted him when things were missing. Strangely, difficult child 1 lies about many nonessential things, and appears to believe his lies. His girlfriend has become a little freaked out by this; she told me that their toilet had been leaking, and difficult child 1 talked to husband about how to fix it, and then when he next talked to the landlord he told the guy that he'd fixed the toilet! Meanwhile, the toilet continues to leak. There are so many incidents like this, I just shake my head and think, it's DENIAL - Doesn't Even (K)now It's A Lie. I can't account for it, didn't cause it, can't control it, and sure can't cure it. So I leave it alone and objectively check anything he says, if I need the information. But the main point - it is not you, it's your difficult child. Don't doubt yourself. [/QUOTE]
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Believing your kid (when you know they are lying)
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