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Bewildered
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 297461" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Nomad - </p><p> </p><p>I couldn't agree more if I tried...and belive me I came from a home that promotes family first. However with my son despite teaching, preaching and demonstrating family first for years - for whatever reason he does not get it. Some days I feel that he would help out a total stranger before he would us. It very much feels like we're being thrown under the bus. </p><p> </p><p>When we chose to let go and let him just be? I don't know if the peace came from letting go and detaching from his choices or from letting him be himself and watching him get the joy from helping others. Of course it's hard. I was raised -your own doorstep first. I wouldn't think of helping someone else before my own Mother. Ever. Never enters my mind. Then I see my child and think I'm so far down on his "where she fits in" scale until he NEEDS something, and if I let that rule my head? I'd crumble. So, I chose to let him go. Not easy. But sometimes when you allow these kids to have what they want without hesitation? They get enough of it to realize it wasn't what they wanted anyway - and that their parents weren't so bad after all. Dudes somewhere between those two thoughts at almost 19. He still likes to help people....and gets joy out of it for sure, but he's realizing that life with OTHER people is give to get. </p><p> </p><p>With your parents - it's just love to receive. Much better concept and a lot less work. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> - but you have to live a little to figure that out. And you have to get some serious lumps in your mashed potatos before you figure out that most times you prefer them smooth. Right now? Let her have her lumps - You're doing an EXCELLENT job!!!!!! </p><p> </p><p>And the petticure and working out?? YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!! I'm proud of you!!!! Wish I had the gumption to go to the gym. I've got just about enough energy currently to power the old stationary bicycle for 18 minutes. DF says if we hooked it up to power the TV - we'd both figure out how to pedal more. lol </p><p> </p><p>Keep up the good work.....I love the Good Will idea - they have a job corps in most cities...that will help her and train her to FIND a job. </p><p> </p><p>ALSO - check and see if you have a local Voc. Rehab. They work with people like our kids to get them jobs and in some states will pick them up if they don't have transportation. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 297461, member: 4964"] Nomad - I couldn't agree more if I tried...and belive me I came from a home that promotes family first. However with my son despite teaching, preaching and demonstrating family first for years - for whatever reason he does not get it. Some days I feel that he would help out a total stranger before he would us. It very much feels like we're being thrown under the bus. When we chose to let go and let him just be? I don't know if the peace came from letting go and detaching from his choices or from letting him be himself and watching him get the joy from helping others. Of course it's hard. I was raised -your own doorstep first. I wouldn't think of helping someone else before my own Mother. Ever. Never enters my mind. Then I see my child and think I'm so far down on his "where she fits in" scale until he NEEDS something, and if I let that rule my head? I'd crumble. So, I chose to let him go. Not easy. But sometimes when you allow these kids to have what they want without hesitation? They get enough of it to realize it wasn't what they wanted anyway - and that their parents weren't so bad after all. Dudes somewhere between those two thoughts at almost 19. He still likes to help people....and gets joy out of it for sure, but he's realizing that life with OTHER people is give to get. With your parents - it's just love to receive. Much better concept and a lot less work. :winking: - but you have to live a little to figure that out. And you have to get some serious lumps in your mashed potatos before you figure out that most times you prefer them smooth. Right now? Let her have her lumps - You're doing an EXCELLENT job!!!!!! And the petticure and working out?? YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!! I'm proud of you!!!! Wish I had the gumption to go to the gym. I've got just about enough energy currently to power the old stationary bicycle for 18 minutes. DF says if we hooked it up to power the TV - we'd both figure out how to pedal more. lol Keep up the good work.....I love the Good Will idea - they have a job corps in most cities...that will help her and train her to FIND a job. ALSO - check and see if you have a local Voc. Rehab. They work with people like our kids to get them jobs and in some states will pick them up if they don't have transportation. :winking: [/QUOTE]
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