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bio dad & difficult child guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 168445" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Steely, my son went through exactly that same thing when he was that age. Promises were never kept, plans were made and he never followed through, visits were scheduled and he never showed up or even called - nobody mattered at all but HIM! In my sons' case, he was treated this way by their dad while his older sister seemed to be the favored one, the one who he cared about. Turns out he was only using her and manipulating her too, just in a different way. </p><p> </p><p>It took my son many years of getting his feelings hurt over and over again before he finally realized that it wasn't <em>him</em> - it wasn't through any fault of his own or any shortcoming on his part. When he was a few years older, more mature, and looking at the situation as an adult, he could see it for what it really was - his father is simply an <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" />! He's not a nice person at all. He's incapable of really caring about anyone but himself. Other people simply don't matter to him. They are important to him only for what they can do for him, what he can gain from them, even his own children. Now that my son sees his father for what he really is, he doesn't feel bad about himself any more. He regrets that their relationship couldn't be different but he knows that it's not his fault. If anything, my daughter was more hurt than my son - she kept holding on to her faith in him and then was bitterly disappointed. </p><p> </p><p>I know how much it hurts to see your child be hurt like that. It's such a helpless feeling. Hugs to you and your boy. It will get better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 168445, member: 1883"] Steely, my son went through exactly that same thing when he was that age. Promises were never kept, plans were made and he never followed through, visits were scheduled and he never showed up or even called - nobody mattered at all but HIM! In my sons' case, he was treated this way by their dad while his older sister seemed to be the favored one, the one who he cared about. Turns out he was only using her and manipulating her too, just in a different way. It took my son many years of getting his feelings hurt over and over again before he finally realized that it wasn't [I]him[/I] - it wasn't through any fault of his own or any shortcoming on his part. When he was a few years older, more mature, and looking at the situation as an adult, he could see it for what it really was - his father is simply an :censored2:! He's not a nice person at all. He's incapable of really caring about anyone but himself. Other people simply don't matter to him. They are important to him only for what they can do for him, what he can gain from them, even his own children. Now that my son sees his father for what he really is, he doesn't feel bad about himself any more. He regrets that their relationship couldn't be different but he knows that it's not his fault. If anything, my daughter was more hurt than my son - she kept holding on to her faith in him and then was bitterly disappointed. I know how much it hurts to see your child be hurt like that. It's such a helpless feeling. Hugs to you and your boy. It will get better. [/QUOTE]
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