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Parent Emeritus
Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 741028" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The last time I invited my son to come back here he was homeless in the large Metro a few hours from here. He was riding the rapid transit in order to sleep. His exact words when I said he could come back, were<em> Now I have Hope.</em></p><p></p><p>It only got worse when he came home.</p><p></p><p>Too often our children identify hope as something that the universe provides, free. They take a hand, and see it as a hand out. For which there is no obligation. With us they cannot see any reciprocity. And all too often, no limits. </p><p></p><p>I have posted this many times, but I worked with seriously mentally ill men in prisons. Many had diagnoses of bipolar which was compounded by personality disorders frequently and by years of drug use and hard living. The thing is acting out in prison is severely punished. By the system. Either inmates or guards. But the consequences are severe of having no control over your behavior. Way more often than not the inmates did what they had to do to control their behavior including medication. </p><p></p><p>Finding the right medication is trial and error, but when the patient is motivated more often than not a medication is found. Psychopharmacology is getting better and better. I believe there is hope for this young man. But I do not know what it is beyond severe consequences that will motivate this young man or others to make the required changes.</p><p></p><p>Nor have I had any success trying to build a treatment plan for my son. Therapy, voc rehab, college, volunteer work, job training, neuropsychologist, drug treatment, residential treatment, spiritual direction--I tried to push and push. Some of it he played along with to string me along. The rest of it, just never happened. Until they want to do it, if ever, it does not happen.</p><p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)"></span></p> <p style="text-align: left"><span style="color: rgb(20, 20, 20)">This parent is in a tough spot. And so is this adult child.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 741028, member: 18958"] The last time I invited my son to come back here he was homeless in the large Metro a few hours from here. He was riding the rapid transit in order to sleep. His exact words when I said he could come back, were[I] Now I have Hope.[/I] It only got worse when he came home. Too often our children identify hope as something that the universe provides, free. They take a hand, and see it as a hand out. For which there is no obligation. With us they cannot see any reciprocity. And all too often, no limits. I have posted this many times, but I worked with seriously mentally ill men in prisons. Many had diagnoses of bipolar which was compounded by personality disorders frequently and by years of drug use and hard living. The thing is acting out in prison is severely punished. By the system. Either inmates or guards. But the consequences are severe of having no control over your behavior. Way more often than not the inmates did what they had to do to control their behavior including medication. Finding the right medication is trial and error, but when the patient is motivated more often than not a medication is found. Psychopharmacology is getting better and better. I believe there is hope for this young man. But I do not know what it is beyond severe consequences that will motivate this young man or others to make the required changes. Nor have I had any success trying to build a treatment plan for my son. Therapy, voc rehab, college, volunteer work, job training, neuropsychologist, drug treatment, residential treatment, spiritual direction--I tried to push and push. Some of it he played along with to string me along. The rest of it, just never happened. Until they want to do it, if ever, it does not happen. [LEFT][COLOR=rgb(20, 20, 20)] This parent is in a tough spot. And so is this adult child.[/COLOR][/LEFT] [/QUOTE]
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Bipolar adult son, is wanting to move back in.
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